What do you do to honor the day you woke up from dying? Four years ago, on a Monday morning, instead of going to work, I went to sleep. I went to sleep for 4 days. I do not remember a light at the end of the tunnel. I do not remember hearing voices coming [...]
What do you do when little carries a weight of importance? I have spent my forty-four years swinging between depression and mania, being gnawed upon by anxiety, and little clue what these things are. I have been focused on my mental health for the last decade, but it was only five years ago when I [...]
As an adolescent, I could explain what physical and social well-being was perfectly. I was however as lost as a needle in the ocean when it comes to explaining what mental well-being is. Physical illness was not new to me. After all, I have been down with fever at several times. Even though the evidences [...]
There were three major things that happened that affected me in negative ways in my childhood. I was diagnosed with Executive Dysfunction Disorder. What that means is that I have a hard time doing many tasks others find easy. A family member had severe anger issues that came out in horrible ways. My mom had [...]
Alexithymia in 2020 America We bring in each item: one at a time wipe it down with a Clorox wipe Shadows crossing the threshold My throat tightens My stomach turns My face remains the same Northern winters subside early Plans to landscape the yard Keep Busy Find joy in connecting with the earth My enthusiasm [...]
Tell Me A Story: Introduction ----------------------------------------------- Telling one’s story is complicated. Often, the stigma and uninformed or deeply ignorant opinions someone with mental health conditions display precisely why storying is crucial. To give an account of one’s first-hand experience with various aspects of our day to day lives gives a new life to issues that, [...]
CW: Depression and suicide Staring at my phone when a pop up interrupts my endless scrolling: "Feed the cat, feed the kids." Fuck. I look up. One kid is staring at his tablet, the other is jumping off the couch. Cool-- both kids are still alive. I slap together a pb&j, toss some ramen in [...]
Hang in There After seeking mental health help for 18 years, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, PTSD, and anxiety at 35 years old. I also sought help for substance use for nearly two decades. At 38 years old, after 22 years of active use, I was finally accepted into a dual diagnosis treatment center. [...]
Trigger warning- self-harm I have been diagnosed with depression for the last 26 years. I can barely remember a time when I didn't have it. Honestly, I probably was depressed since birth. It is just how my brain is wired. I have always been a chronic pessimist, seeing the glass fully empty. I was the [...]
The first time I “died”, I was 25. I was walking through a mall with my friends and suddenly felt the weight of the universe crash into me. I was on a roller coaster hurtling down its initial drop. I was a grain of sand being crushed by the incoming tide. Then, I was nothing. [...]
