I have struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember. Even as a little kid in kindergarten panic would take over and I'd run out of the cafeteria in a panic, scared of the noise and the people. It only got worse with age and constant bullying. By the age of [...]
I deal with voices, I am thinking about coming off of the medication and be apart of the hearing voices network. My voices aren't really hostile, they can be and have before like when I went into a ward to stay for awhile, they have been. But I know now what to expect and what [...]
Cicadas and Honeybees They’re buzzing again. The hum is warm like thick ribbons of honey unfurling to the bottom of my tea cup. As they flutter their wings faster, swarming around in my head I begin to feel their vibration throughout my entire body. My bones quiver under their drone. My toes prickle as if [...]
In a society where appearance is everything, I find it exceedingly difficult to get people to see past my beauty and into my reality. I present myself well groomed, well-spoken and my affect is rarely inappropriate. Due to these factors, no one would presume I suffer from an assortment of severe and pervasive mental illnesses. [...]
It’s 3 am…. My 18 year old wakes up, sobbing and screaming “Mommy!”. I rush into her room, knowing that she didn’t take her anti-psychotic medicine. “I’m bleeding, my hair, I hit my head when I fell and now it’s bleeding. My brain, inside my head… I’m going to die. I am dyeing Mamma. Oh [...]
*BIG trigger warning on this post. Talks about Depression and has mention of some graphic suicidal thoughts and actions/ self harm. If you are easily triggered right now, I would not recommended reading this at all. * Unrelenting. Unforgiving. Empty. Hollow. Excruciatingly painful. Physically painful. Confusing. Heavy. Suffocating. Desperate. Lost. Isolated. This is what Depression [...]
Part 2 I was taking the subway when I finally broke down. I wandered into a pizza place, and then cried my guts out. Cops came and drove me to the hospital. When there, I got a new diagnosis of Schizoaffective disorder with bipolar features. They put me on meds and sent me home. I [...]
Understanding Stigma I am the first Portland, Oregon-area woman author to publish a memoir about schizoaffective disorder (a little talked about diagnosis of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia). My memoir is called, Sherry Goes Sane: Living A Life With Schizo-Affective Disorder. Most books on mental illness are written by doctors and clinicians, but I feel the [...]
So they say life’s a ride – a roller-coaster even. And the people saying that are – quote unquote – normal. If my colleagues, friends and family think this is something akin to the Big Dipper, where does that leave me? Three years ago I fell dangerously ill. A life threatening health issue brought me [...]
In an instant I finally felt life being restored to my body. It felt like volts of electricity coursing through my veins. As the bright lights begin to come into focus, I hear faint voices becoming stronger. Did I make into the other dimension? I feel suffocated by the tube in my throat and taste [...]
