Hello, My story is not unique, unfortunately. So many young boys are brutalized by family members and go on to live in chasms of despair, confusion and self-hate unnecessarily. Silence is a killer. Victims must feel free to speak up without fear of reprisal or subjugation. My abuse was at the hands of my father [...]
On bad days, I don’t know where the anxiety stops and the chronic pain begins. The tightening in my chest could be warning of a panic attack or of a fibromyalgia flare that will spread across my chest, down my arms and into my hands, rendering me unable to write – both my work and [...]
TW: Abuse, Eating Disorder, Suicidal Thoughts I am 18 years old, but I feel as though I am just finally figuring out my place in this world and my identity. All my life I have lived with social and generalized anxiety disorders, as well as depression. It was not until I reached high school when [...]
by Lindsay Holmes Trigger Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions of suicide and self-harm. In his song “Hurts So Good,” John Mellencamp had it almost right. Sure, love may sometimes hurt good, but not in the way I’m talking about. I’m referring to the sweet burning release from pressing and [...]
Trigger warning - sexual abuse We were all girls once The men who assaulted me had assaulted other girls before me. They assaulted other girls after me. We’re part of the same rusted chain, those girls and I, the chain that tethers us together the same chain that tethers us to the gate on the [...]
Is it true that deluges fill a void in your heart that many drugs fail to numb? I have heard wolves crawl into my skin and wither their way into my insecurity. I have felt the novel shift of having a skeleton and collapsing under the weight of it. My mother dreamt of a night [...]
Is admitting being a victim of child sexual abuse courageous? There are times I doubt this power as I look at myself in the mirror. I am still remarkably human. The hair fades in color and quantity. The waist still expands as if my stomach had a mind of its own. I still have flaws, [...]
Anxious All Over I’m anxious all over. You can’t know me without seeing it. You don’t really need to know me to see it. I am told frequently to calm down. Strangers reassure me that “everything is okay.” And I know they mean well, but it hurts sometimes. I’ve been guilty of this myself—looking at [...]
A handful of pills, alcohol, and a full bathtub. That's all I need. I had the perfect plan to finally give me peace. I climbed in to relax, tossed my pills in my mouth, drank and relaxed waiting for bliss to take hold, that moment when oblivion would release me from my nightmares. I've always [...]
Freed Control is my Insanity My name is Jay Insalaco. I am a husband, father of two beautiful children, and a public worker. Life wasn't always like this, here’s my story. In 1995 when I was 19, I started going to a rave club in New York City called "the tunnel". At this club I [...]
