*Trigger warning - sexual abuse Stay in my body. I don't want to. I wish I could float above it like I used to when it started to happen. I want to check out. I want to be free. I don’t want to remember what happened to me. I don’t want to recall hands on me. [...]
*Trigger Warning - sexual abuse My name is LJ, I was born and raised in New York. I was born into pure chaos, the youngest of five to two dysfunctional parents. I have had PTSD since the age of 4. During the course of my childhood I was tortured, neglected, starved, and sexually abused my various adults...including [...]
When you are a child trying to understand the meaning life, you have no idea if you are getting it. All you know is when you are obedient and stay out of trouble, your parents will not spank you. My life was very simple. I was born into a family consisting of three brothers and [...]
When I was a child, I was told to fear strangers; that they were the threat to my innocence. Unfortunately, I was never told that real danger would come from someone in my own family. When I was 10 years old, my great grandfather molested me. It wasn’t enough that he stole my innocence from me, [...]
Is admitting being a victim of child sexual abuse courageous? There are times I doubt this power as I look at myself in the mirror. I am still remarkably human. The hair fades in color and quantity. The waist still expands as if my stomach had a mind of its own. I still have flaws, [...]
It's A Shame About Shame. Shame has a crushing feel to it. I think to those that have felt or continue to feel shame, it’s suddenly having a spot light aimed on you. It’s the turning of your stomach, like a cement truck, endlessly twisting what’s inside. Shame is that instant jerk of my head, [...]
This is hard for me write because I've never written about this before, nor have I talked about it to anyone other than my psychologist. Rachel Thompson has a saying she often posts on her social media streams, "Write what scares you." Or something to that effect, anyway. Writing about this doesn't scare me and [...]
I'll Never Tell *Trigger Warning* this post contains mature situations that may trigger some people/survivors of assault or abuse. I don’t make a regular habit of addressing issues, but lately the news and social media keep hammering me with things that hit me hard emotionally, and I really have something to say. I’ve never written [...]
