I moved overseas when I was manic. I have Bipolar Disorder. At the end of January 2016 I finished a course of 15 ECT treatments for a severe episode of depression. A couple of weeks after I finished the ECT I started to become very angry and irritable. The mania was setting in. You see, [...]
A pill for happiness Happy Birthday, you have depression What do you do when your teeth hurt from clenching the duvet as you muffle the sounds of crying so no-one will hear? What do you do when your eyes are stinging after constantly wiping them before any tears can fall? What do you do when [...]
In 1997 I was 17 years old and I wanted to die; mindfulness meditation saved my life. If it wasn’t for Jon Kabat-Zinn’s body scan and sitting meditations, I would be dead. I was able to focus all my anxious and depressed energy into one singular place. My brain literally would not shut the fuck [...]
When my wife, Ann, was officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, it was not the major revelation that one might expect. It was a label to the problem I had been dealing with since she left Silver Hill Hospital. I knew something was amiss. Despite the weekly double session therapy she’d been attending faithfully and her [...]
Bubble and gurgle Boil and spout These ugly feelings Want to come out Warm acidic pressure Tight eyes and sealed lips it's a wonder they can't tell I'm near falling to bits A quick action A thoughtless mistake Killed all good vibes Quiet animosity overtakes Shut my mouth Glue close my eyes But not my [...]
I was always diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (along with a diagnosis with PSTD). I was okay with that. It took some time, but I was okay with my diagnosis. I wasn't always. I went through stages. At first I was made at the defect that I was born with. Then I was sad, because I [...]
I have always been the girl with a pen and a pad of paper on hand. I'm a writer. I used to write fiction, but as I grew older I realized that I could write about my emotions too. My diary became my closest companion. For a while I tried to write eloquently, but eventually [...]
Dear Depression, I need you to know that you are not me. Your incessant insults may make me briefly believe that I am all of the terrible things you tell me, but I now know that I am none of them. I am worthy of love. I am strong. I am handsome. I am enough. [...]
Fucking Feelings. I've spent most of my life suppressing my emotions. I don't know when it started or why, but it became as much a part of who I am as my shiny bald head, hairy back and biting sarcasm. For as long as I can remember, I've kept the world at bay. I built [...]
More than anything, I want to help other people around me. Ever since I was young, I’ve always helped others before helping myself. I was under the impression from a young age that if you gave yourself self-love or self-care that you were selfish. This is unfortunately the conditioning that we receive at a very [...]
