I worry

I worry

I worry about the past.

I worry about the future.

I worry about right now.

Will this fucking worrying ever stop?

I worry so much that I send myself into a wave of panic.

I let that panic wash over me and I cannot stop this.

I wish I could stop worrying.

But how? How does anyone just STOP doing the thing that comes naturally to them?

Thinking is like breathing to me and worrying is a hobby I didn’t choose on a list of activities to select.

Some people don’t think so much.

I don’t understand how they achieve this.

It’s magical to me like they have some super power that I don’t.

Am I just a worrier?

Maybe that’s my job.

I didn’t sign up for this.

I didn’t even know I had an interview.

There was no interview.

I was just placed into this position with no training.

I guess I do it so well that they promoted me to worry supervisor.

I can teach other people HOW to worry.

Awesome.

Only it is so NOT awesome.

Worrying makes my stomach hurt.

It makes my head spin.

It talks to me when I want it to shut up.

I put pillows up to my ears.

I hide under the couch, but it finds me.

Maybe someday, I’ll find a better hiding place and I won’t worry so much anymore.

But today is not that day.

Tomorrow might be.

By | 2017-08-18T11:14:18+00:00 August 18th, 2017|Categories: Uncategorized|0 Comments

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