I worry about the past.
I worry about the future.
I worry about right now.
Will this fucking worrying ever stop?
I worry so much that I send myself into a wave of panic.
I let that panic wash over me and I cannot stop this.
I wish I could stop worrying.
But how? How does anyone just STOP doing the thing that comes naturally to them?
Thinking is like breathing to me and worrying is a hobby I didn’t choose on a list of activities to select.
Some people don’t think so much.
I don’t understand how they achieve this.
It’s magical to me like they have some super power that I don’t.
Am I just a worrier?
Maybe that’s my job.
I didn’t sign up for this.
I didn’t even know I had an interview.
There was no interview.
I was just placed into this position with no training.
I guess I do it so well that they promoted me to worry supervisor.
I can teach other people HOW to worry.
Only it is so NOT awesome.
Worrying makes my stomach hurt.
It makes my head spin.
It talks to me when I want it to shut up.
I put pillows up to my ears.
I hide under the couch, but it finds me.
Maybe someday, I’ll find a better hiding place and I won’t worry so much anymore.
But today is not that day.
Tomorrow might be.