Psychotic episodes from 19-33 years old. All I could do was hang on for the ride. From spending a vast amount of money to going from job to job while still staying in my field. From having numerous sexual partners to having unsafe sex with them. To having my 20s a blur and my 30s a little better. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at the age of 25 and bipolar type 2 in my mid 30s as well as anxiety. Had a hospitalization when I was 27 for a week for a psychotic break. All I can say is that it made me who I am today. Glad I have a good support system. I’m living now in Arizona, but moving back to Brooklyn soon my hometown. I have no support system out here. I feel lonely and bored and all by myself. But if I can get through this so can you. Been on the right medications now for about a year and a half. Took me a while getting the right medications and dosages for them. I’m a warrior and strong, nothing can take me down since I’ve been to my lowest before. Stay strong and be brave. We all have an obligation to help each other out. I’ve been through the ringer but in stronger for it.
I lived a block from the ocean and that was the best therapy. Even though I went through multiple therapists. I only found one therapist. Had him for 12 years but looking back he helped but not by that much. Found a great one here in Arizona. But she too is moving back to the east coast. People come in and out of our lives for a reason. Nobody knows why they do it just happens that way. I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years from my illness or my lack of being able to control them. Now I’m 38 and I’ve done a pretty good job and not relapsing and controlling my symptoms.
Had a girlfriend for 2 years, that ended badly. But somehow we remained friends. Life is funny that way. Life is funny in many ways. My dad was murdered when I was 14 but my parents divorced when I was two and he didn’t stick around. It affected me, but to what degree I didn’t realize at the time. Think that was the time I started my spiral downwards but truly didn’t get into it until I was 19.
Strangely enough, that was when I started getting tattoos. It’s a form of therapy now. The pain is worth the beautiful end result. My tattoos tell the story of my life. Some people hate them. My mom did, but she has come around now. Nobody can take your story from you. It’s yours and that sense of being is what makes you, you can’t deny your past no matter how bad it is. People suck, but then there are people that generally care. Monsters lurk everywhere. Some inside us others on the outside. My demons almost destroyed me multiple times. But I was able to pull back from the brink each time just in time. Even though I risked myself and I could have died from having unprotected, sex catching any number of diseases. I dodged the bullet, don’t know how I did that. Just thankful I am clean and somewhat healthy today.
I think having a dog throughout my 20s helped me get by. She was my soulmate, even if that sounds weird. She was my constant companion showing me unconditional love and only wanting belly rubs in return. It was having a connection with another that kept me grounded somewhat. I will be looking for another dog when I get back into Brooklyn. It’s been eight years and I’m finally ready for another companion in my life.
I can count on one hand the number of friends I have. But I also know they are true friends that would do anything to help me out. Not everybody can say that. I’m truly grateful to have friends like that. I’ve had all my friends for close to 20 years except one. But we are also very close and bonus he’s my tattoo artist.
All I can say is stay strong. Life will still throw curveballs that we must dodge. But it’s up to each one of us to stay on the path. Yes there will be good and bad days. I don’t know what normal is and frankly I don’t care. Show me a normal person and I’ll run from them screaming. We all have issues of something one way or the other. I hope my story helps somebody out there in one form or another. Opening up is never easy as we all have demons we want to keep buried.
Hi I’m Damian Multary. I’m 38 years old. From Brooklyn NY. Now I live in
Arizona but plan on moving back to Brooklyn. I have a great support system in NY. I have borderline personality disorder, bipolar type 2 and anxiety.