*Trigger Warning – Suicide*

Hello everyone my name is Waylon Griswold I’m currently 24 years old. I currently struggle with depression and chronic post traumatic stress disorder. Before i start with my story i wanna say I’m lucky to be here sharing it with you and this is my first time sharing it. I woke up one day on September 6th of 2021 i felt okay at first but around 8 am in the morning i was very depressed for really no reason i think it was caused by lack of sleep. i do know nothing happened tho. Anyways i told my mother i was going to go for a walk but really i wasn’t i had this planned. We have a 15-20 ft lighthouse where i live by the lake it is a really beautiful place but on this day it wasn’t so beautiful. I took off not being okay and i did not tell anyone how i felt because its hard to find someone that really understands. I ended up walking to the lighthouse and there is steps you can climb to get halfway up and look at the water. Again i wasn’t feeling that great on that particular day. I climbed up the steps and i called 911 telling them my plan they tried talking to me but i was so tired of how my life is that i put the phone down on the ground and sit on the edge of the railing. I remember shaking and being really scared but at that moment i did not care about anything. So i ended up jumping and landing on both feet and collapsing on the cement below immediately. It felt like forever for the police to arrive my adrenaline was so high that it did not hurt on impact. the cops ended up showing up and saying that was a really stupid thing to do obviously it was and i regret every minute of it i have so much guilt to overcome and i think this had made my ptsd much worse. i ended up going by ambulance to a local hospital and ended up getting airlifted to a bigger one. I broke my back in 4 places and both feet I’ve had 3 surgeries all together but different dates. i have 10 screws in my right foot and a few plates i had completely shattered my heel i also had a surgery on my back to fix the 4 places i broke i have 6 rods in my lower back and i was in a wheelchair for around 3 months not able to walk or put any pressure on my feet which is so hard not to do. i ended up getting these infections an they had to open my back up again to take care of it. i also had a PICC Line in my arm so my family and in home nursing could give me antibiotics through the PICC. Sadly i ended up getting another infection that caused a big blister that was infected and i had to go for a checkup and they ended up admitting me to the hospital again which ended up having to get another operation done. This time i had something called a Wound Vac to drain out any infection and help prevent infection. Now here we are today and I’m sharing my story with you all it has been a long road for me I’m finally walking again I’m grateful for everyday and i wanna help others out because suicide should never be a option. I felt like this might help some of you in a positive way that is why I’m here sharing my story. Life is a blessing for me yes i still have my struggles and that’s why I’m here.