Trigger warning- suicide
It’s hard to understand when someone takes their own life. Suicide is a tragedy and it leaves the family wondering what happened; especially if there is no note left behind. What we do know is that the person who passed away was in pain. After their death, it’s normal to grieve for your loved one. In fact it’s necessary to grieve after somebody takes their own life. It might not be something that you can understand because you were not in their head. You don’t have to understand the “why.” You might not ever know the answer to why someone decided to leave this world. You can still celebrate their life after they’re gone, no matter how tragic their death was. Grief is something that we process over time and in a variety of ways. It’s painful losing somebody after they die by suicide; a particular kind of pain that can’t be compared to anything else.
The hard thing is when you blame yourself. There is no one to blame when a person takes their own life. They were suffering and depression is an illness. Unfortunately, depression has the capability to kill. It is awful and it hurts. How do you grieve the loss of someone who ended their own life? The same way that you grieve any death. You remember the person before they passed away. You remember the good times, the bad times, you remember all of it.
You can look at pictures, you can look at any artwork they created, read letters that they wrote or sing songs that they liked to listen to. There are so many ways to remember someone that you loved. You don’t have to stop loving them even when they’re gone. Love isn’t something that stops after someone dies. Love is one of the most powerful feelings out there and we can honor that person who died by suicide by continuing to love them unconditionally.
You can choose to grieve your own way. How you do that is up to you; nobody can tell you the “right” way to miss somebody.