“Do you have your keys?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have your wallet?”

“Yeah.”

…

“Okay, so do you have your keys?”

“I told you, yes.”

“I still want to make sure.”

“Nothing has changed since 45 seconds ago.”

“Right, but still. Can you just check?”

“I have them.”

“Can I see them?”

Unzips bag

“Here.”

“Okay thanks.”

“You’re welcome. We need to leave now.”

“Yeah, but do you have your wallet?”

“Let me check. Hold on…yes.”

“All right, but you’re going to lock the door, right?”

“Yes, I am going to lock the door.”

Locks the door

“Did you lock the door?”

“Yes. You saw me do it!”

“I know, but can you do me a favor and just check?”

“Fine.”

Checks

“It’s locked. We need to go now.”

“Okay, but are you sure you locked the door?”

“Yes. I just checked. Are you done?”

“I just want to make sure it’s locked. People can steal things if it’s unlocked.”

“I can’t handle this anymore.”

“I’m just trying to be helpful.”

“Well, you’re not helping. It’s just uncomfortable.”

“I want you to be safe. Speaking of which, do you have your wallet and keys?”

“I told you five minutes ago that I have them.”

“It could have changed.”

“It has not changed.”

“Did you lock the door?”

“Yes, I fucking locked the door.”

“Why are you getting mad? I care about you.”

“Because you know who you are.”

“Who am I?”

“OCD.”

“Yeah so?”

“So I am going to exposure therapy so that you will go away.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to work.”

“Can you please just go away?”

“Nah.”

“I am begging you to just go.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“Okay, well I have to go to therapy.”

“Yeah, I’m coming too.”

“I didn’t invite you.”

“So? I am still coming.”

“I’m going to run there. Can you run?”

“Oh yeah! Definitely, I’ve been working out. I can keep up with you.”

“I am so exhausted.”

“I know! I’ve been trying to exhaust you!”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“That was sarcasm.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, I know you’re here, but I have to work on how to deal with you. I can’t just listen to everything you have to say all the time. It’s not helpful to me. I know you believe you’re helping but you’re not. So please just try to be quiet.”

…

“I’ll see you in therapy.”

“Fine.”

***

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters. She lives with Bipolar II, OCD and ADHD. She has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic and Psychology Today. Follow her on Twitter @TheSarahFader. www.sarahfader.com