In 1997 I was 17 years old and I wanted to die; mindfulness meditation saved my life. If it wasn’t for Jon Kabat-Zinn’s body scan and sitting meditations, I would be dead. I was able to focus all my anxious and depressed energy into one singular place. My brain literally would not shut the fuck up. However, listening to these meditations on tape, it was forced to do so. The wonderful thing about Jon Kabat-Zinn is that his voice is soothing. He could be talking and cooking brussel sprouts and you’d be placated. I do have a fondness for him and his work.
Mindfulness has served me throughout my life, even though sometimes I forget to use it. Since high school, I’ve been diagnosed with a plethora of mental illness, including Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Complex PTSD, and Anxiety. I’m sure I’m forgetting things because you know, I’m crazy. Anyway, Katie and I were talking about how challenging it is to have mental health issues and we decided to say, fuck it, let’s embrace right the fuck now. That’s why we created #WorkWithToday. #WorkWithToday encourages all of us to be present in this moment, whether that means you are depressed, anxious, or happy, own that shit.

***

My panic disorder started when I was eight; I would wait 27 years for access to adequate mental healthcare.

I used to live day-to-day because I didn’t see much point in planning. I hated my life most of the time, counting the hours until I:
Was out of my parents’ house…
Finished college…
Landed my first professional job…
Paid off my credit card debt…
Found my way back to writing…
Could move to the east coast…

Waiting out a series of unpleasant or unfortunate circumstances is no way to live. Starting the process of getting well two and a half years ago gave me real hope for the first time. I’ve battled through suicidal stretches and depressive episodes where I couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve endured, I’ve fallen down, I’ve wondered whether I’ll ever be able to stand on my own two feet. I still wonder on my bad days.

Now, living day-to-day looks very different. #WorkWithToday for me means being kind to myself. On any given day, anxiety, depression, PTSD, OCD — or any and all of them in combination with my extreme ADHD — can derail my plans. And on some days, my atypical neurobiology can give me what Sarah calls super powers. The best and most honest thing I can do is to honor where I am right now — to manage or harness what my brain gives me.

Join us in tweeting – #WorkWithToday and tell us about how your today is.

 

 

Katie Klabusich is a writer, speaker, radio host, and activist whose words you can find on Netroots Radio, Truthout, RollingStone, Alternet, The Toast, The Establishment, and – of course – on Twitter (@Katie_Speak).

 

 

 

 

Sarah Fader is the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters, a non-profit organization that encourages individuals with mental illness to share their personal stories. She has been featured in The Washington Post, The Atlantic, Quartz, Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, HuffPost Live, and Good Day New York.
Sarah is a native New Yorker who enjoys naps, talking to strangers, and caring for her two small humans and two average-sized cats. Like six million other Americans, Sarah lives with panic disorder. Through Stigma Fighters, Sarah hopes to change the world, one mental health stigma at a time.