Oh boy, what do I like about therapy? Well, I used to think of therapy as a place to dump all my problems, but over time I’ve learned that it isn’t just that. It’s a place for me to actively change the way I behave and improve my life. Yeah, I know that sounds cheesy or whatever, but it does help me be a better person. Being in therapy has taught me that I am malleable, there is no fixed version of me. I was born, I am living and I have the right to work on myself, just like you have the right to work on yourself. I like seeing my therapist because it’s a relationship and I know that she cares about me. I can see that she has an investment in seeing me get better. Not that I’m sick or something, but that I have things to work on so that I can feel better about myself.

Sure, there are days that I’m disappointed in how I handled a situation, but we all have those days. I’m working on seeing life as imperfect. I’m not perfect and I never will be, because “perfect” is an illusion. Perfect is mythical and if we could all just see that, we’d have a better chance at being happier or experiencing more joy in life. We are flawed, we fuck up, we make epic mistakes sometimes and hopefully we learn from those blunders. The trouble is (and I can speak from personal experience on this one) when you make the same mistake over and over again and you keep doing it. It’s like banging your head against a brick wall, knowing that it hurts you, yet you keep on doing that. Why? I’m not sure, and when I figure that one out I will be sure to let you know.

What I do know is that therapy is helpful to me. It helps me stop beating my head against the wall and focus on what makes me feel good. I think that’s the goal of therapy is to feel good and NOT feel guilty about feeling good. That’s something that I personally struggle with: when I feel good I immediately start to think something is wrong or feel guilty that I’m not worrying about something. Worrying is a comfortable place for me because it’s familiar. But, to bring this back full circle, I’m learning that worrying isn’t going to help the situation. What helps? Feeling good about feeling good. When I feel happy, it is a reward for me. I’ve worked on myself and I am now seeing that reward in real life.

Are you in therapy? Does it help you feel better about yourself and your life?  If you’re considering going to see a therapist in person or online, check out Psychology Today or BetterHelp for resources to find a therapist of your own.