I recently watched ‘Lars and the Real Girl‘ for the second time and once again was touched by the gentleness of this movie. For those who haven’t seen it, the movie is about a young man who thinks a blow-up sex doll is his real girlfriend. What is so poignant about the movie is how the town comes together and treats this temporary delusion of his with compassion; instead of mocking or making fun of him. At the suggestion of his doctor, they all go along with him and treat Bianca as if she were a real person. In one scene when Lars’ family is asking friends for support one outspoken woman lists the idiosyncrasies of the others in the room to make a point. We all have aspects of our lives that may not be considered normal. Really, how do you define ‘normal’ anyway?
What I hope for in this world is that more people will find compassion for others who are not the same as they are. That could mean differences in race, gender, mental or emotional status, physical appearance or financial status. All people should be treated with respect, for we all have something unique to give to the world. But it begins with each of us, as individuals. It begins with having compassion for ourselves and loving ourselves for who we are in this moment in time. We are all wounded souls in one way or another. And once we give that wounded self the self-love for which it yearns, the healing can begin.
Can we begin to speak highly of ourselves and others and not use those negative terms we have used in the past? Can we find the gift in who we are, in our current state, and share it gently with the world? Can we begin to see the strength that lies behind that open wound? For the mystics say it is through the wounds that our light shines brightest. As far as I am concerned, we all have a journey to walk and each journey is important, significant and necessary for the growth of this world and all who reside within it.
So begin with yourself. If those negative words/thoughts continue to surface, then write a love letter to that wounded part of you. For much of that wound comes from the perception of not being loved. Believe in yourself and your role in changing this world. That role could be as a writer, speaker or activist. Or that role may be as simple as just being present in this world. For your presence does indeed make a difference; every moment of every day. Never doubt that. Let’s begin to change this world by being our authentic selves and sharing the gifts we have to give to the world. Are you with me?
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Celine Koropchak, a former Duke University medical researcher, is currently a blueberry farmer and author of the book, “One With All of Thee: Growing Your Sacred Connection,” a collection of writings from her weekly blog, “The Tovarysh Connection.” Started ten years ago with just 600 tiny plants, her farm now yields over a half ton of blueberries each season and supplies local university and corporate cafeterias in the Raleigh-Durham area.
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