When you’ve solved a hard problem

Before words can be formed
There’s a small spark of light
And your brain’s slightly warmed

Unannounced one strange night
The light it turned on
Slowly growing and glowing
A magnificent dawn

Next a flood of ideas
Poured in all around me
Till I bathed in pure truth
And unfathomable glory

Right then I knew
That my purpose since birth
Was to become a real god
Living, breathing, on earth

To reveal to the world
From my room I emerge
To handcuffs and sirens
And from freedom diverge

Psychotic, unwell
In a half-padded cell
I awoke the next morning
To a new kind of hell

They poked and prodded
I tried not to react
They stole and they plotted
But I didn’t fight back

Afraid like some others
Walking aimless about
That I’d give the wrong answers
And never get out

But you’d never know
Now I’m here amongst the crowd
With my brain mostly stable
And out of the clouds

With a world full of stigma
And a bipolar mind
I keep to myself
About the pills and the grind

Every day, a day further
And a little less odd
I smile and I try
Not to feel like a fraud
When I hold back the thoughts
From the night I was God.

Silus bedlam is an artist, musician and mental health advocate living with Bipolar Disorder. He uses his art and words to explore his mental illness as a method of coping and to promote discussion of mental health. He is the vocalist for Force Recation, a musical collaboration that tackles mental health, politics, the pharmaceutical industry and art.