I Say, I’m Recovered.

However is there such a thing.
I don’t abuse laxitaves, or make myself purge.
No longer restricting calories, or missing social events.

However is there such a thing as being fully recovered.
I do look in the mirror and say wow I’m fat
Yes, I avoided the gym and eating healthy as the fear of falling back.

Am I really recovered?
If I was would looking at old photo’s be this bad for my mental and physical health?
When I look into the future, there no issues insight. But when I look in the past somethings makes me want to fall back.

This pain is real, the struggle is real.
But why do I call myself recovered- I’m not and not sure if I ever will!

The Photo Attached: is from 2007 during the dangerous part of my struggle. I look at this picture it makes me want to be skinny. But I also remember how broken inside I was. I NEVER want to feel that way again.

10398937_1007295786999_147_n1Grew up in a household of dysfunction and trying my hardest to stay afloat!