People tell me there's hope, to hang on, but I don't see any hope. What does hope look like? Will I recognize hope when I see it? Is it yellow, golden, green, blue? What shape is hope? I wonder if I meet hope on the road if it will talk to me. I'm not sure. [...]
Nobody sees me in my family. I have feelings and I express those feelings but they are not heard. I feel like I am screaming as loud as I can and yet still, they ignore me or don't understand what I am trying to tell them. What I am saying isn't unreasonable or strange, in [...]
I was told that I was asocial, that it was a part of my personality disorder. I don't know what they meant by that. I sat in the doctor's office looking at these degrees that were framed in black frames on the wall. He seemed to love himself a lot. I don't know what was [...]
Counting calories was the only way that I knew how to control anything in my life. My mother used to call me fat. But I wasn’t. I didn’t understand why she would do this to me. It tortured me. I remember my favorite snack after school: Hostess Cupcakes. I can still taste them in my [...]
I want to sabotage the potential that I could be happy. I can see happiness as something that is an option for the future. If I look into the distance I see it as an exit off of the road. It's something that I could drive to, but it's not easily accessed. I want it [...]
What the hell was wrong with him?! He was such a pessimist! Many times his large blue presence plodded through my life, basically telling me to get over it. “Life’s not fair” don’t ya know? I nicknamed him Eeyore. He worried a lot. “Don’t trust no son of a bitch”. “You can always come [...]
Anxiety and coping with the fear of ‘missing your turn’ As a general rule, nobody likes to feel anxious, nervous or negative about anything they’re doing. But with adults born after 1995 more likely to suffer from anxiety, coupled with the huge pressure to know what we’re doing or where we’re heading, you will struggle [...]
Anxiety I don’t think I knew I had it I never gave it a second thought I don’t think I realized That anxiety is every “what if I can not?” What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t finish? What if I let out everything of me and nobody likes what I’ve done [...]
But it Didn't Seem Like Postpartum Depression “It’s not uncommon to suffer from postpartum depression,” my infant’s pediatrician said to me during a routine checkup. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Her tone was soft but [...]
“But what if I drop the baby?”: my life with postpartum OCD I always wanted to be a mom. When I met my husband, even though we were young and knew that starting a family was years away, it was something we still talked about and planned for. We picked out names that we liked, [...]
