Anxiety and coping with the fear of ‘missing your turn’
As a general rule, nobody likes to feel anxious, nervous or negative about anything they’re doing.
But with adults born after 1995 more likely to suffer from anxiety, coupled with the huge pressure to know what we’re doing or where we’re heading, you will struggle to find someone in this generation not anxious about something.
Sound familiar?
Whilst I was at university I worked alongside almost 50 other students, and after a few years I began to manage them. The thing that was made clear to me as I attempted to fill out my CV at 20-years-old, was not just that I had no idea how to deal with people or their problems, but that nine times out of 10, their problems began with ‘anxiety’.
So how do we move past ‘being anxious’ or ‘feeling anxious’ about something we want to do? Because that’s when anxiety really starts to take shape.
What happens when it stops you doing something you really, really want to do? What if you miss your shot? What happens if anxiety is the only thing left holding you back, and you miss your turn?
What if you’re so busy worrying about being anxious, that’s how you miss your turn?
It all comes down to ‘you have to start somewhere’.
For me, starting this blog was my Everest. I’ve always loved writing, I’ve always needed to write to keep myself sane – but I’ve rarely shared what I’ve written.
But what if I miss my turn? What if I can finally turn my passion into a fully functioning career? But by being too anxious to publish anything, I miss my shot?
I started with this blog post, I wrote down my process and hopefully it makes for a pretty interesting introductory post.
This is how I got past my anxiety and became determined not to miss my shot. I’ve broken it down into a four step process.
1. Figure out why you want to do it
This was bizarrely difficult for me (although I do tend to make things harder than they need to be). Why did I want to start a blog? Was it so I can read my inner most ramblings at any given moment? Was it just vanity? Am I that self-obsessed that I need a place to publically document my thoughts?
Or was it to kick start a career? Yes, I wanted to make a career out of writing. Yes, I know other people who have done so by running a successful blog.
Finally I realised the only way opening and regularly writing a blog was going to help me, was if I did it because I enjoy it. I love to write, so ‘amma do it!
2. Find out what’s stopping you
Personally, the whole ‘what if nobody likes it’ concept never entered my head, my issue is ‘what if nobody reads it?’
What if I pour my heart and soul into creating something I’m so proud of, so proud that I want to air it out for all to see on the internet, and nobody reads it? Not one person? That’s just sad, surely one person would read it?
But what if they don’t…
This I find more terrifying and heart breaking than any other outcome.
And the only way I got past this, was to repeat point number one and remember, this is for me.
I’m doing this because it makes me happy, I enjoy it, and it’s okay if nobody else does!
3. Worry about it
Now this was an unnecessary step I took. After deciding, yes I wanted to do this because I enjoy writing and after making an agreement with myself that it didn’t matter if nobody other than my mum read it… I worried about it for six months. SIX. MONTHS.
Instead of using those six months to brainstorm, create ideas or just list things out, I worried. What if I did it? But what if I didn’t? Hmm, yes, but what if I did?
4. Just do it
Ok, so now’s the scary part. Just getting on with it and bloody doing it.
So I’ve written the post, enjoyed the process, put everything together and now all I need to do is press publish. Go. Into the world it’s launched. Well, why not?
Bethany, 22, Journalism graduate.
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