Up and down…
Up and down…
Up and down…
Over and over again…

Mania exhibits itself as a hysterically excited companion,
Chortling and guffawing and chattering with gnashing teeth,
Expansive eyes shifting every which way,
And a gnarled smile snaking throughout my mask.

A dark-eyed playmate who never sleeps,
An atrophied friend who never eats.
They swiftly whisper that it’s all under good intentions,
That it allows them to constantly lie by your side,
But when you peer into their optics,
You see madness staring back.

Depression eventually silently slinks in,
Under warm covers and into stale rooms.
It snuffs mania out by smothering its flames,
And murmurs sorrow into your ear.

In lieu of being by your side,
It skulks in your blackened shadow,
Carrying with it a deceitful blade,
And lying in wait.

Hatred ultimately seeps in,
Burrowing under my skin with the intensity of a raging bull,
Wrenching Depression’s dagger from its sad hands,
And burying it in its stone-cold heart.

Screaming bloodied narratives into my dome,
Painting images with the carnage weeping from its hulking fists,
Attempting to push me and push me and PUSH ME,
Until I snap like a brittle twig.

This may all be felt in moments,
Or seconds,
My mind short-circuiting and cross-wiring ferociously,
Skipping like a broken record.
Grieving one minute,
Then shrieking the next.

Wishing death upon the entire cosmos,
Then automatically switching to demonic infatuation.

It’s exhausting,
And tiresome,
Yet most of all,



Hi there! My name is Emily Mulligan, I have lived with severe mental illness my entire life, and have grown into a bold woman who tries to share her life story in whatever way she can. My submission is actually a poem based on my diagnosis of bipolar disorder.
Blog: https://neverendingthoughts91.wordpress.com