100 Sleepless Nights 2am. Time is endless on sleepless nights, The mind wonders if soft steady breath will quiet heavy thoughts, Tired eyes hang heavy on memories of earlier days, Dark clouds of consciousness bring introspection of fallen days, 2:30am. Counting the minutes of time with no end in sight, Rising clouds of doubt and [...]
I always wonder, "What if?" What if I was born without a mental illness? What would my life be like? What would I be doing? What if I never tried committing suicide? When my depression and anxiety get overwhelming, it's easy for me to fall into the trap of comparing my life to other people. [...]
“I think you’re more than just tired” There it was – the truth. It left my husband’s mouth and hit me like ice cold water thrown in my face, stealing my breath and shocking me out of my sleep-deprived denial. We were driving home from the doctor’s office, my eyes still red and puffy. The [...]
In changing the mental health conversation, a lot of people are moving toward the idea of 'suicide is not selfish'. I have felt suicidal and I have tried to commit suicide. I was selfish every time. In the times I felt like I had nothing to live for, I was only thinking of myself. I [...]
“Whatever you’re feeling, be good to yourself. If you feel lost, be patient with yourself while you find your way. If you feel scared, be gentle with yourself while you find the strength to face your fear. If you feel hurt, be kind to yourself while you grieve and slowly heal. You can’t bully yourself [...]
How Self-Compassion Changed the Way I Approach my Life When I first heard the words “self compassion” I was overcome with this feeling of negativity and the rolling of my eyes. Really? I thought. I am filled with compassion for others and work so hard to see the world through that lens. But compassion for [...]
Hey. It’s me. I am not Hannah Baker. I am not the beautiful Katherine Langford. I am not Hollywood’s depiction on a suicidal teenage girl whose life is shot in warm manila lighting and has her story painted as heroic. This is not that story. There is nothing heroic, or glamorous, or beautiful about it. [...]
I’m an advocate for the disorder Misophonia[https://www.misophoniainternational.com/what-is-misophonia/]. Lately, you may have seen it in the press. I should be happy. I should be jumping for joy that my disorder is being researched – and even more joy that it’s been featured around the world by the media. Unfortunately, I’m too close to all this. I’ve [...]
I was not a vivacious child. I did not learn all the world’s instruments or play every sport known to man. I dabbled in gymnastics and quit when my best friend wouldn’t stop crying on the balance beam. I then switched to dance, which sucked even more, although I did enjoy the smooth sounds of [...]
Sunday morning church service is a time of quiet reflection to draw nearer to God...to God. To God. To God. Stop it. But for myself, and the rest of the one in forty adults with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, that quietness doesn't come on Sunday. Or any other day. There is no real quiet with OCD. [...]
