My name is Arslan Akhtar Ali and I am from Islamabad, Pakistan.I was having left eye ptosis by birth. My life went painful when my father started beating my mom on daily basis at that time I was only 5 years old.I started suppressing my emotions but I was unaware of the upcoming more extremely painful storm.After death of my father in 2004 my family shifted to Islamabad and at that time I was suffering from extreme isolation.I became emotionally attach with a guy who used to study in my academy and started considering him my best friend.But then he started making fun of me while comparing me with others and started giving me painful comments like “I am not dashing and bold” and similar comments like “My other friend can speak better English than you as your accent is zero”.After hearing all these kind of comparisons and my past painful experiences added up and I became a psychological patient at the age of 17.After Intermediate (College) for 1 year and 6 months, I was not even able to get out of my bed due to extreme psychological disorder.Oneday I finally decided to commit suicide and for executing my thought I went to the third storey of a building so I can jump from the building in order to end the painful life but while standing at the edge I contemplated and then I decided to kill the pain that was killing me.I decided to take responsibility of my life, I stood up and in order to gain what I lost I took admission in BS Media and Mass Communication in International Islamic University Islamabad.While fighting with clinical depression I learned English language as well and started doing rapping to express my pain under my rap name Chronic A.I also became topper of my calss by taking 4 out of 4 GPA.I improved my personality by working hard on myself through running and exercise.Now I am getting proper psychological treatment from Sahil Organization.Now I am 22 years old and thanks to my Lord that on that day I haven’t committed suicide.In country like Pakistan it’s very hard for a person to survive with mental illness as a person has to deal with social stigmas prevailing in my country.People mostly suppress/hide their mental illness as they are afraid that people would call them “abnormal” or they would make fun of them even the family of the victim don’t understand this fact of extremely invisible mental pain.So now I have a aim to start my own organization where I can treat people with any kind of mental illness absolutely free of cost coz I have survived the worst psychological episodes of my life and still fighting with the mental illness (clinical depression), now I want to motivate other people along with spreading psychological awareness among them.So kill the pain not your life.I always hide my mental illness from my friends and family but now I want to take the initiative to tell the world that don’t hide your mental illness from others as there is nothing wrong in it and go for the proper psychological treatment without feeling ashamed.
I am student of BS Media & Mass Communication surviving clinical depression
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