I suppose I have had anxiety my whole life. I was born into a strong Catholic family were everything was a sin. My older brother had epilepsy and so our family was always on edge, I guess I felt it was normal. It peaked at 13 when one night I was quietly watching tv like [...]
Living In A Grey World The first time I ever purged was in the bathroom of a Friendly's restaurant at the age of 15. I had just finished eating a colossal burger, french fries, and chocolate ice cream with hot fudge and gummy bears. You may be thinking, "after eating that combination of food no [...]
I was diagnosed with depression when I was seven years old. Yes, seven. My formative years were ruined by the addiction that held my father prison, the unresolved pain of my mother, and selfish ambitions of my step- father—someone who was supposed to be a superhero (but that’s a story for a different day). I [...]
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) vs. Posttraumatic Growth (PTG): Focusing on Symptoms vs. Resiliency in Survivors of Trauma I’m no expert. I may be a counselor-in-training, completing my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at CACREP-accredited Messiah College Graduate School, but I’m not the authority on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Posttraumatic Growth (PTG). Here’s [...]
Trigger Warning: Memories of Childhood Sexual Abuse I still remember my first sexual encounter. I was 4 years old. I remember every detail, as if I was a spectator, rather than the child. I don’t remember the physical sensations, but I do remember every word spoken, every scene enacted. Since it’s with me more than [...]
Like many of you, I love chocolate, have a coffee addiction, and lie through my teeth when people ask me how I’m doing. Who wants to tell people, “I know I look fine, but this arthritis is really bugging me” or “my immune system is attacking my intestines and this leads to depression and an [...]
Living with Mental Illness: Better Doesn't Mean Cured Sometimes, I feel that I don’t know what’s going on or that I don’t care about anything. I am confused by my feelings, because I’m not able to explain how I feel, except for the emptiness, and I feel that no one is really there for [...]
I AM A STIGMA FIGHTER I should make clear from the very start that I am not a soldier. Nor, am I or ever was a trained first responder. Far from it, at the time of the tsunami, I had recently graduated university and had just left my home in London to start a new [...]
It's A Shame About Shame. Shame has a crushing feel to it. I think to those that have felt or continue to feel shame, it’s suddenly having a spot light aimed on you. It’s the turning of your stomach, like a cement truck, endlessly twisting what’s inside. Shame is that instant jerk of my head, [...]
This is hard for me write because I've never written about this before, nor have I talked about it to anyone other than my psychologist. Rachel Thompson has a saying she often posts on her social media streams, "Write what scares you." Or something to that effect, anyway. Writing about this doesn't scare me and [...]
