I may be in the minority here, but I think living with mental illness is a blessing in disguise. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (II) in 2008 (I have been diagnosed with bipolar I as well, so who really knows!). Prior to the diagnosis, I battled depression and severe anxiety for years. Since my [...]
So they say life’s a ride – a roller-coaster even. And the people saying that are – quote unquote – normal. If my colleagues, friends and family think this is something akin to the Big Dipper, where does that leave me? Three years ago I fell dangerously ill. A life threatening health issue brought me [...]
Last Saturday I attended a birthday party for a friend of mine. At first, I was excited at the idea of a night out without the kids. But, as it got closer to go I started to panic. My thoughts ran wild- a new place, people I don't know, the inevitable dancing that resembles that [...]
The minute she was born I knew she was special. She had a full shock of dark hair and a wise air about her as if she'd done this many times before. I instantly fell in love with her. I wanted her so badly that I stopped the anti-depressants I was on after the birth [...]
It all started in elementary school. I was bullied right from the start. Halfway through 4th grade I switched schools, and things got a little better. I now know why things were better – it’s because I was the new kid. Everyone wants to be friends with the new kid. 5th grade all that stopped. [...]
SMILE “Why don’t you smile more?” I have heard this comment more times than I care to remember. It seems like an easy thing to do, right? Two corners of your lips up, a couple of teeth showing and …. It’s a constant in my life – both the “Would you please smile?” and the [...]
People often say a picture is worth a thousand words, in my opinion, living with mental illness is much the same. Our wellness may be non-linear but one thing that being a part of CHANNAL has brought to my life is consistent support. Peer support is the foundation on which I build when times are [...]
My house is a mess. A huge mess. Not one of those “oh, I'm so sorry for the mess!” and there's 2 things out of place kind of messes, a REAL disaster. It always is. I live in a constant state of “it would be clean if I could just...” If I could just have [...]
I was always a nervous child but to me, that was normal. It stopped feeling normal at 25 when an unrelenting wave of panic attacks landed me in the local crisis center. Well-intentioned friends dragged me there, against my will, after I barricaded myself in the house—for weeks. Anxiety. Panic disorder. Agoraphobia. Those were the [...]
The weight on my chest is suffocating. I try to inhale deeply despite knowing what is coming. As my lungs fill, I am forced to stop short. A hand is gripping a balloon in my chest. The deeper I breathe the tighter it squeezes. It's going to pop unless I stop breathing. Sip, sip, sip [...]
