Riding passenger with my mother traveling back to my lux two-bedroom apartment, I suddenly burst into tears. She sat confused, and bewildered. I later learned symptoms of mental illness usually strike in the early 20's of many young adults. I can attest to this fact, they hit hard. Unable to truly express my feelings the [...]
Misadventures in Therapy “Psychologists are just people who weren’t smart enough to be psychics.” – Gina Linetti, Brooklyn Nine-Nine The above quote sums up my esteem for professionals in the mental health field. I don’t hold high regard for purported psychics, which makes my feelings toward therapists all the more damning. Achieving mental health and [...]
FRIENDS? __________________________________________ Dear friend, Today is a terrible day, I wish it was just bad. Funny, how we miss things once we lose them… I will take bad days over terrible days any day. I am back to pretend life… pretend you are not dying inside with every breath you take… pretend that you are [...]
Most men and women will grow up to love their pity servitude and will never dream of doing something good for others. Therefore they will never experience what I have experienced in the last half year. I like to refer to my life before I worked in psychiatry as “naïve-ism.” My existence as I once [...]
The Monster in the Bed When anxiety rears its ugly head. I was always a nervous kid. When my classmates were jumping off the top of the monkey bars, I was worried about broken bones. I was cautious and timid. Really, I was scared. If anyone had asked me what I was scared of, I [...]
I was taken advantage of -over and over again- at points in my life that I needed to be supported and protected. Started with age three until eight, I'm raped and molested. Funny thing, PTSD. It does a great job at hiding the screams of the innocent child, stuffed inside the adult. I grew up, but screaming [...]
THE LIES THAT SAVE YOU Anxiety was a tiny flower that grew in the deep shade of my childhood’s fairy tale garden. As it curled open, its petals were an exploding snap of OCD, situational panic disorder, and slight claustrophobia/agoraphobia. I also exhibited signs of Asperger’s and, by my late teens, had developed BDD (Body [...]
I was sitting as still as I could on our old couch, but time seemingly didn't notice my static state and continued to blissfully tick as I sat there, my body as a statue and my mind as a vortex. It was only 10 minutes until my first shift, my first real shift anyway, at [...]
Etching Therapeutically It’s amazing how tears never flow when fingers bleed through the screen. When a mind becomes tangible through etchings. The feelings caged find face. A picture. A palpable existence. Words are my minds eternal soul. ________________________________________________ Dear Words, If I didn’t find you, who would I be? Would I live among the pill [...]
Some People Just Suck Carefully maneuvering to grab the third plane of the day, I reached the line to board. Dressed in royal blue, the gate agent made his first announcement. "Anyone who needs assistance, extra time, or has a disability may board now. I approached the front of the line. "Pardon me." I said [...]
