There have been many times where I thought death was the only option for me. Life didn’t seem like it was worth living anymore. From a young age, I had to start making lists of things and people that were important to me and made my life worth living. Those lists were always very small. [...]
When I was two years old, I began having “episodes” - bouts of extreme energy and activity with no discernible cause. I would cry to my parents, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” My parents felt helpless, unable to fully understand what I was asking them to do, given the limited descriptive abilities of a [...]
I’m standing in front of my closet, contemplating which outfits to plan for the week. This saves me time in the morning when I inevitably spend an extra half hour snuggling the cat in bed after my snooze button goes off three times. A sweatshirt would be ideal for today since it’s still in the [...]
This Mask I Wear I see the morning light coming through the window. I roll over, not wanting to get up. Not wanting to face another day, just like the last. How do I go on? Why do I go on? Everyone seems to be fine, seems to be moving forward. Completing tasks, talking with [...]
*BIG trigger warning on this post. Talks about Depression and has mention of some graphic suicidal thoughts and actions/ self harm. If you are easily triggered right now, I would not recommended reading this at all. * Unrelenting. Unforgiving. Empty. Hollow. Excruciatingly painful. Physically painful. Confusing. Heavy. Suffocating. Desperate. Lost. Isolated. This is what Depression [...]
Looking back on my life, I can see bipolar disorder woven through every piece of it. Though I was diagnosed at the age of 26, I now see that my disorder first manifested as debilitating anxiety in elementary school. Followed by what I believe to be bipolar mixed states and depression in middle school. Before [...]
Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I have picked up a knife to harm myself. Actually, it was a box cutter. I was hurting emotionally and I couldn’t think straight. See, I had talked to one of my coworkers about some things I was considering, such as finding a new job [...]
The Day That Changed Our World My grandfather died on December 7th, 1957. He was 42. Janet recalled coming home from school to find Mother rocking on her knees in the middle of the living room floor. It was lunchtime and the room was barely lit, she was wearing her usual dark red and black [...]
Hi my name is Nicola, 33, living in Co. Galway Ireland, mother to J aged 10 and I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Fibromyalgia. I remember when I was aged 4 - feeling different from others. As the bullying increased I kept wishing I had never been born. Unfortunately life came with massive blows [...]
The first time I thought about killing myself, I was five years old. I was rocking back and forth, holding myself and crying, while hiding underneath a pile of clothes on the floor of my closet. My sexual abuse started three years earlier, and would continue for another seven. The signs were all there: acting [...]
