I wish I had control over my hands. I feel like I do, and then I wash them until they're raw. I'm afraid of dying. It's hard to explain if you've never experienced this. I don't know when it started, probably around seven years old. I was afraid of getting sick. I didn't want to hold [...]
I thought she hated me. When I went to school that day, she wouldn't look me in the eyes. I couldn't explain why I canceled. It was just too much. I couldn't explain why I didn't go to the convention. I just didn't want to see people. This unbearable sadness hit me when I tried [...]
Awake. Alone. Fighting thoughts. Sleep evades me. I close my eyes and I cannot stop my thoughts. They keep racing and won't leave me alone. They won't leave me alone, but I am alone, oh the irony. It isn’t fair. I want to be peaceful. But my mind won't allow that piece. For once I am not thinking [...]
I didn't want to, but I cried in front of her and I don't know why. I can't tell you what it was about her that made me feel like I could show her my feelings. Was it her kind eyes? Was it the fact that she knew me so well? I don't like to [...]
The thing about Depression is this: it's a sore loser. If you were playing Connect Four with Depression, it would be angry if you got four reds in a row. Who wants to play with an opponent like that? It sounds terrible. That's how Depression is though. It wants to win against you. It's intimidating, [...]
The best way to get help is to be real. It's hard to be real because it requires you to look inside yourself and ask serious questions? What is it about me that I want to change? Am I happy with who I am and what I'm doing in life? Do I feel depressed? Do [...]
We're all a little broken. Me you everyone. It's a matter of how much we talk about it. What do you want to do with that brokenness? Do you want to acknowledge it? Is it hidden? Broken isn't bad. Broken is real. It's human. It's a part of you. Broken doesn't necessarily need to be fixed. [...]
Too often we focus on what's wrong with us. What's your diagnosis? Depressed? Borderline? Paranoid Schizophrenic? Panic Disorder? All of these terms are just a way to develop ways to help people. Put a name to the thing that's "wrong" with you and now you have a section in a textbook to look at to [...]
It pisses me off that I can't remember things. My memory used to be so great. I could recall tiny details of things that happened in college or wild nights that I had in high school. I've been told that anxiety and trauma influence your memory. For example, when you experience a traumatic event, you [...]
I recently learned in therapy how you can observe a thought and not judge it. Be with that thought, let it roll down the river in your mind. You can even imagine the actual words flowing down the water. I thought that visual was cool. It can be hard to implement this strategy when your [...]
