Why I fear the good days I can look back on a rather full and varied life. I have had many good times, I have also had many rather unpleasant times. This is typical of pretty much every person on the planet. Physically I am better off than many, I have arrived at my forties [...]
This isn't the story I want to tell, this isn't the story I want to be living. Write about my life they say. Like it's easy to rip open the doors of my mind and explain to every person who will read this how fucking hard it is to wake up. My very good friend [...]
NUMBING MEMORIES Dear friend, Sorry I haven’t written to you in last 21 days… Perhaps I was too busy, too distracted or too happy to be sad… But it’s all superficial, isn’t it? You finally have a happy streak and deep down you are afraid that you will get bad again and eventually it does [...]
Father's Day 2015 As emotions ran high, the pills slid down my throat, the world spinning around me, and suddenly I'm 9 years old again. The room is dark. Everyone else my age is at the movies, having sleepovers, But I am alone, too afraid to say a word, too afraid to make friends. My [...]
The holidays can be a stressful time for those of us living with mental illness. There is a lot of pressure to smile and be happy. We are seeing family members that we don't see often. Family can be a trigger for some of us. It's especially challenging to put on a smile or fake [...]
And Depression Is two hands squeezing strangling until you’re dry too dry so dry you wonder if desiccation only happens to corpses Depression is the fear that you’re immortal in a world of goodnight kisses painfully unlaced with cyanide staring into the void and letting it seep in until you are what is left a [...]
I got Type one Diabetes on the week of my eleventh birthday. I had a sleepover planned, had a cookie cake ordered, the whole shebang. Then genetics happened (on my grandfather's side). And my sleep over had to be cancelled while I learned a new set of skills that I'd have to carry with my [...]
Educate or Suffer My Wrath I hate waking up in the morning. Every day is a constant struggle but mornings are a defining moment. When I open my eyes, fate is decided for me. Which side of the Bipolar spectrum will I be on today? I never get to choose. It chooses for me. What [...]
My life changed in eighth grade. Like most teenagers I experienced teenage angst. But mine was different, stronger. It all started when the boy I liked started dating my best friend. Typical junior high drama for most, and yet I spiraled down a dark path. Soon after I was bullied because of this emotional turmoil [...]
DEPRESSION DOESN’T KILL US EXPECTATIONS DO Dear friend, How are you? Sorry I haven’t written in a while, I was too busy, I was too tired and I wasn’t feeling like it. I am not doing well, if you are wondering… I am sinking down and down into the rabbit hole and I don’t think [...]
