I'm 41 years old and grew up as an only child in a family where violence, neglect, drugs and verbal abuse had a big impact on our lives. My father was addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs and was violent and abusive. He was also loving, creative, passionate, a wonderful musician and always wanted to [...]
Have you ever had a nagging feeling at the back of your mind .. you know, the one that says oh so quietly "I need more"? Not the voice that says "buy the shoes!" or "I need a holiday". The voice that gnaws at you, bit by bit.. "I need more... life, more purpose." "Ssssh" [...]
Never Judge Someone Until You've Walked A Mile in Their Shoes I flip through my memories like stacks of paper left unorganized for years. I fade away into these memories while I try to sleep, as I drive or even standing in line at the grocery store. No matter how many times I sift through [...]
In April 2015, I went to a health and wellness retreat sponsored by my college. I had signed up to attend several months prior because I knew I needed to start focusing on my own health and wellness, especially my mental health. I felt like I really needed some alone time away. It had been [...]
Leave it to me to be the dissenting voice. My mother wouldn’t at all be surprised. She might however be surprised to know that a few years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. In fact most people in my life don’t know. Not because of stigma, not because of any sense of shame [...]
I suppose I have had anxiety my whole life. I was born into a strong Catholic family were everything was a sin. My older brother had epilepsy and so our family was always on edge, I guess I felt it was normal. It peaked at 13 when one night I was quietly watching tv like [...]
Living In A Grey World The first time I ever purged was in the bathroom of a Friendly's restaurant at the age of 15. I had just finished eating a colossal burger, french fries, and chocolate ice cream with hot fudge and gummy bears. You may be thinking, "after eating that combination of food no [...]
I was diagnosed with depression when I was seven years old. Yes, seven. My formative years were ruined by the addiction that held my father prison, the unresolved pain of my mother, and selfish ambitions of my step- father—someone who was supposed to be a superhero (but that’s a story for a different day). I [...]
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) vs. Posttraumatic Growth (PTG): Focusing on Symptoms vs. Resiliency in Survivors of Trauma I’m no expert. I may be a counselor-in-training, completing my master’s degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at CACREP-accredited Messiah College Graduate School, but I’m not the authority on Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Posttraumatic Growth (PTG). Here’s [...]
Trigger Warning: Memories of Childhood Sexual Abuse I still remember my first sexual encounter. I was 4 years old. I remember every detail, as if I was a spectator, rather than the child. I don’t remember the physical sensations, but I do remember every word spoken, every scene enacted. Since it’s with me more than [...]
