Living with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) Every October since as long as I can remember I have been sad, angry, confused, upset, and illogical. What about October made me upset? Was October just a weird month thanks to Halloween? Many people have feelings of depression, mood swings, and less energy during fall and winter. Some [...]
I can recall the very moment everything changed. I remember it clearly as if a wire in my brain became unplugged. I was at a friend’s house and I sat down on the edge of the fireplace to settle in for another movie. Except this time was different. Though my body physically stopped moving when [...]
I remember driving over the Gold Star bridge as a child (the summer before the fifth grade), on the way to an art fair with my mom, and seeing him. He appeared to be standing on the opposite side of the fence of the bridge, and if I remember correctly he was wearing shorts. My [...]
I was lucky enough to grow up in a household with two loving parents who did their best to ensure my sisters and I had everything we needed. We had opportunities that many kids didn’t, and we always knew love and safety. Our home was not a broken one, and I never–not in a million [...]
Mental illness has always been familiar to me. My mom has lived with depression and anxiety for the majority of her life. There were days she wouldn’t get out of bed, but would remain curled up with her tattered red robe, with a pillow over her head. My sister and I learned to play quietly [...]
Cicadas and Honeybees They’re buzzing again. The hum is warm like thick ribbons of honey unfurling to the bottom of my tea cup. As they flutter their wings faster, swarming around in my head I begin to feel their vibration throughout my entire body. My bones quiver under their drone. My toes prickle as if [...]
It's breaking my heart...this divide. It's tearing me apart. The drama, the perceived slights, the resentment, and bickering...this isn't what I imagined we would become. Growing up, it was always us. Sisters. Blood is thicker than water. Our parents raised us to look out for one another, to support one another in each new endeavor. [...]
The rock. The warm hug. The one you call. The one who would listen. The one who didn’t judge. That was me. I wasn’t a person with mental illness. I was a person who had friends with mental illness. Amazing, one of a kind, incredible, motivating, strong friends that I loved and admired very much. [...]
I am staring at the scissors in my hands and I am shaking. I am twelve and I don’t know that I can simply take the screen out of the window. I assume that I have to cut it away. I assume that even ending my pain will be difficult. I assume that I cannot [...]
For everyone with depression, the experience is different. But you wouldn't know it from our societal image of the black dog. A million and one cookie-cutter 'signs and symptoms' pieces online, will blithely tell you the things to look for. Sleeping too much or not enough, isolating, lack of personal care and loss of interest, [...]
