I’ve been denying it, hiding it, covering it up, but the pressure of pretenses has become too much. I’m never going to be “normal”, or my version of it. I get that ‘normal’ is not a real standard anymore. People are starting to own their differences and not allow themselves to be placed in a [...]
Although I have had an opportunity to rack up a fair share of successes, there was a time when I could barely leave my house as I struggled with the crippling symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which causes uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts and behaviors. This struggle occurred due to one major reason: there was little access [...]
My breakthrough Three years ago, I checked myself into the emergency psychiatric unit. In the three weeks leading up to that hospital visit, I went through cycles of agitation, moments of paranoia that the helicopters overhead were coming for me, and had several epiphanies. The notes I scribbled on my discoveries were simply gibberish. It [...]
March 2015 I trudged through the sand of Santa Monica Beach awaiting the celebration which was to ensue upon my arrival. The beach was filled with spectators as I went to the shore to set up shop. I laid out my beach towels and camouflaged workout gear. I scattered shells and crystals about with magic [...]
We're all a little broken. Me you everyone. It's a matter of how much we talk about it. What do you want to do with that brokenness? Do you want to acknowledge it? Is it hidden? Broken isn't bad. Broken is real. It's human. It's a part of you. Broken doesn't necessarily need to be fixed. [...]
Too often we focus on what's wrong with us. What's your diagnosis? Depressed? Borderline? Paranoid Schizophrenic? Panic Disorder? All of these terms are just a way to develop ways to help people. Put a name to the thing that's "wrong" with you and now you have a section in a textbook to look at to [...]
It pisses me off that I can't remember things. My memory used to be so great. I could recall tiny details of things that happened in college or wild nights that I had in high school. I've been told that anxiety and trauma influence your memory. For example, when you experience a traumatic event, you [...]
Trigger warning - sexual assault In one of my favorite movies, "Interstellar," two characters have a conversation about the nature of evil as they go out into space and the great unknown. "You don't think nature can be evil?" One character asks. "No," the other replies. "Formidable. Frightening. But... no, not evil. Is a lion [...]
"I died yesterday" Since I was a child, I knew I was different. I could never fit in anywhere, not at school, not at church and not at home. My dad died when I was seven years old. My mother was dealing with her own depression at that time and my sister was in her [...]
I recently learned in therapy how you can observe a thought and not judge it. Be with that thought, let it roll down the river in your mind. You can even imagine the actual words flowing down the water. I thought that visual was cool. It can be hard to implement this strategy when your [...]
