I wanted to die. I no longer wanted to go on living. It all became to much. From the failed relationships, to constantly partying with a shady crew who did shady things. I was sucked into a lifestyle of self destruction in an effort to numb the pain I was feeling inside. I'll never forget [...]
In June 2016, my brother asked me if I would be godfather to his newborn daughter. Of course, I said yes, but there was one snag. I’d have to fly from my home near London to Dublin, where my sister in law is from for the christening. And stand up in front of a crowd [...]
Tips for Surviving Depression (From Someone Who’s Been There, Done That) When I was diagnosed with clinical depression, I was seven years old. Up until that point, my teachers had expressed concern over my lack of verbal communication in school; I rarely spoke in class or to my peers. During recess, I sat alone on [...]
I remember the day when life became too much for me. I don’t remember the events from all the days leading up to this day, nor I do recall the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back on this particular day. On this day - the day that could have easily been my last on [...]
I didn’t want to feel anymore, and I welcomed the darkness. Except. It didn’t take me under. Instead, I woke up. Literally. Figuratively. Despairingly. Thankfully. I woke up. And I’ve woken up every day since. Even when I haven’t wanted to. I guess that’s the spoiler alert to this story. A headline might read: Man [...]
A letter to my 18-year-old self Dear 18-year old Charlotte, I know times are hard and being alone and independent is scary. I believe you about the bad things that have happened to you that you don't want to tell anyone about. Please know that it is not your fault and you did not deserve [...]
I’m sorry I lost touch. I’m sorry I didn’t call, didn’t write, didn’t reach out, pushed you away, let connections fail. Sometimes I get paranoid. Worried. Anxious. Do you hold it against me? All the things I did, didn’t do, said, didn’t say, when I was sick. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. With you, and [...]
Schedules Promote Stability Trains run on a schedule and so do I. When trains don’t run on time, things can go very wrong and affect actions and people. The same is also true with me. Even before my diagnosis of bipolar I, I discovered that my days and nights were better when I kept a [...]
The following post is from a series called " A letter to someone who stopped talking to me." The posts from this series will appear on Stigma Fighters and Bank Back Together. Dear Mum. It’s been a while since I wrote you. Six months. What was the last thing I sent you? A postcard, probably. [...]
People Scare Me: The Realities of Social Anxiety Disorder Growing up, I never really saw myself as a confident person. I recall that my earliest memory of being shy around people occurred in preschool. As we did our usual routines and some children were trying to talk to me, I felt uncomfortable with myself. Something [...]
