My career ended with a phone call on Monday, 25 October 2010. “Mark. Dam Neck demands you have no contact with anyone at work.” With those words, I had a choice to make. Leave work on Medical Leave for mental health problems, or be fired. I chose medical leave. The end of my career started [...]

Always Anxiety For as long as I can remember, I’ve been on edge. I always have that slight fear in the pit of my stomach. I jump when the doorbell or the phone rings. Driving on a highway makes my palms sweat. I have to medicate myself to get on a plane. Though, it seems [...]

I can remember my first anxiety attack as if it was yesterday. I was 11 years old and I was getting trouble a lot in school. I was a very smart kid. I knew all the answers, I just lacked the motivation to succeed. As a result my grades suffered. I remember studying for a test, and I [...]

As far back as I can remember, my life has always been one big bucket of shit. About the age of four or five is when I begin remembering abuse. In my home yelling, beatings, degradation and humiliation were the norm. I hate holidays now, because then, every holiday was a fucking mess because of [...]

I was a shy, introverted child by nature. Living in isolation in the deep woods with my parents, family, and a couple neighbors only seemed to amplify it even more. I had little contact with the outside world. I was just a small child, and I didn't know any different. I met kids that were [...]

It was an important day. As I realized it was looming closer, I felt nervous. It's a new world, and I wasn't sure what it would be like. Would there be a parade? Cake? Party hats? Some enlightened epiphany followed by an overly verbose explanation of my new-found paradigm? I have been self-harm free for [...]

Bittersweet Love My daughter is not mine. I mean, she is, obviously, because she's my daughter. Nothing can, or will, change that. Ever. But I don't have her. I didn't put it online publicly anywhere when I was pregnant, so no one knew. I was very quiet about it. I knew I wasn't going to [...]

I remember the day that the doctor gave it a name: Depression. Finally. Such relief came with that one word. I now had a name for what was wrong with me. For why I was feeling like I wasn’t normal. For why happiness seemed to elude me even though I had no reason at all [...]

Writing Through Depression By Jordan E. Rosenfeld “For it would seem - her case proved it - that we write, not with the fingers, but with the whole person. The nerve which controls the pen winds itself about every fibre of our being, threads the heart, pierces the liver.” –Virginia Woolf, Orlando As I write this, [...]

I come from a family with a history of depression and anxiety. My dad and two of my brothers have bipolar disorder. My mom has an undiagnosed anxiety disorder. And I struggle with both mood and anxiety disorders. Because of this familiarity with mental illness, I played the helping role in my family for many [...]