Last Saturday I attended a birthday party for a friend of mine. At first, I was excited at the idea of a night out without the kids. But, as it got closer to go I started to panic. My thoughts ran wild- a new place, people I don't know, the inevitable dancing that resembles that [...]
The minute she was born I knew she was special. She had a full shock of dark hair and a wise air about her as if she'd done this many times before. I instantly fell in love with her. I wanted her so badly that I stopped the anti-depressants I was on after the birth [...]
It all started in elementary school. I was bullied right from the start. Halfway through 4th grade I switched schools, and things got a little better. I now know why things were better – it’s because I was the new kid. Everyone wants to be friends with the new kid. 5th grade all that stopped. [...]
SMILE “Why don’t you smile more?” I have heard this comment more times than I care to remember. It seems like an easy thing to do, right? Two corners of your lips up, a couple of teeth showing and …. It’s a constant in my life – both the “Would you please smile?” and the [...]
People often say a picture is worth a thousand words, in my opinion, living with mental illness is much the same. Our wellness may be non-linear but one thing that being a part of CHANNAL has brought to my life is consistent support. Peer support is the foundation on which I build when times are [...]
My house is a mess. A huge mess. Not one of those “oh, I'm so sorry for the mess!” and there's 2 things out of place kind of messes, a REAL disaster. It always is. I live in a constant state of “it would be clean if I could just...” If I could just have [...]
I was always a nervous child but to me, that was normal. It stopped feeling normal at 25 when an unrelenting wave of panic attacks landed me in the local crisis center. Well-intentioned friends dragged me there, against my will, after I barricaded myself in the house—for weeks. Anxiety. Panic disorder. Agoraphobia. Those were the [...]
The weight on my chest is suffocating. I try to inhale deeply despite knowing what is coming. As my lungs fill, I am forced to stop short. A hand is gripping a balloon in my chest. The deeper I breathe the tighter it squeezes. It's going to pop unless I stop breathing. Sip, sip, sip [...]
I AM NOT THE DRAGON A boy arrives in the world with a punch-drunk eye, a congenital defect called myelinated retina that impacts his depth perception, his balance, and his sense of spatial placement. His parents, fearing he is ill-equipped to maneuver life’s landscapes, keep him close to the bosom, forbidding him to participate in [...]
Knowledge is Power For many of us it starts when we are small. For many of us it continues through adolescent and teen years. For many of us we grow up unscathed from childhood issues, taunting, or typical “rites of passage” intended to mold us into adulthood. For many of us, this is not the [...]
