Looking back on my life, I can see bipolar disorder woven through every piece of it. Though I was diagnosed at the age of 26, I now see that my disorder first manifested as debilitating anxiety in elementary school. Followed by what I believe to be bipolar mixed states and depression in middle school. Before [...]
Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I have picked up a knife to harm myself. Actually, it was a box cutter. I was hurting emotionally and I couldn’t think straight. See, I had talked to one of my coworkers about some things I was considering, such as finding a new job [...]
The Day That Changed Our World My grandfather died on December 7th, 1957. He was 42. Janet recalled coming home from school to find Mother rocking on her knees in the middle of the living room floor. It was lunchtime and the room was barely lit, she was wearing her usual dark red and black [...]
Hi my name is Nicola, 33, living in Co. Galway Ireland, mother to J aged 10 and I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Fibromyalgia. I remember when I was aged 4 - feeling different from others. As the bullying increased I kept wishing I had never been born. Unfortunately life came with massive blows [...]
The first time I thought about killing myself, I was five years old. I was rocking back and forth, holding myself and crying, while hiding underneath a pile of clothes on the floor of my closet. My sexual abuse started three years earlier, and would continue for another seven. The signs were all there: acting [...]
BACK THEN It all started when I was about 7 years old. My parents fought a lot. My dad often abused my mom by doing terrible things to her. I would often hear her cry and scream and there would be sounds of glass breaking , chairs being thrown, or anything breaking , really. I [...]
I knew something was wrong, even as I sat there shaking from the rage. This wasn't normal. I hadn't been this angry for awhile, not enough to shake and be numb and feel like I'm about to explode. My bipolar disorder was rearing its ugly head again. The slightest things set me off. More often [...]
Anxiety is an asshole... -Thoughts come to you at breakneck speed--the good and the bad. -You cannot sit still--even for what used to be your favorite activity. -Something bad is about to happen--you just don’t know what or when. -You’re exhausted but you cannot sleep--when you finally close your eyes, your dreams are laced with [...]
My Suicide Attempt Doesn’t Make Me Unlovable When I was fourteen years old, I tried to kill myself. Whether my brain chemistry, raging hormones, a recent breakup, or chronic low self-esteem were to blame, I can’t say for certain. Often, depression doesn’t seem to need a reason. Like an uninvited house guest, it simply shows [...]
There have been so many. Medicines. Diagnoses. Hospitals. It has been a rough five years. I am 19 years old. At 14, I started to hurt myself, and have disordered eating. I talked to my school counselor about how I wanted to die, and she finally sent me to my first hospital. I always seemed [...]
