SOFT AND MADE OF MELTING SNOW 'I am and not, I freeze and yet am burned, Since from myself another self I turned. My care is like my shadow in the sun, Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it, Stands and lies by me, doth what I have done.' It was hot. Exactly eight-hundred [...]
Let me tell you about a time, a time of crime, well it’s a crime in my head, a memory that still fills me with dread. Hitting rock bottom on a personal level, I staggered into my flatmates room with a knife, out of my mind, a sign of hope I couldn’t find, deep down [...]
HypersexualityMaySometimesBeAtrocious By the time you wonder if you’re manic, you already are. I check off symptoms on the Goldberg Mania Questionnaire, hoping I don’t meet the highest score, florid mania. Ivan Goldberg was pretty clever. Loss of interest in eating and sleeping? Definitely. Hypersexuality? Nope. But before the plane takes off on my way home [...]
I Have 30 Tabs Open In My Browser and My Brain I’m hypomanic/manic. There are 30 tabs open in my browser. It’s difficult to close any of them, even after bookmarking, because how will I remember what I was looking for? Noting the websites seems like a good way to track the manic stream before [...]
Pondering my own existence. Hear them pondering it too.... Everyone has different views of who and what we are, or should be. An incomplete part of the whole, or one whole part complete itself? Who do they want to stay, who needs to go? Am I real? There's a constant back and forth with what's [...]
Mental Illness and its Pain Pain is universal, varied, and subjective. An evolutionary deterrent and motivator, in some ways essential, in some ways utterly pointless. It can provide common ground, or be the most isolating of experiences. Everyone falls somewhere within its range. My pain came from depression. Not everyone experiences depression in this way; [...]
Saying Goodbye to My Blog, "Hello Bipolar Linla" The last thing I posted on my blog was on December 2nd, 2017. That post was titled, “It’s Been A While…” and in that post I wrote the following: “I am scared of the future because I have no clue what is going to come next. I [...]
By the time I reached adolescence, I had suffered emotionally under the weight of the unrest in my household, which included my parents’ divorce. I harbored a lot of anger and sadness. When I started to manifest indications of mental illness, it seemed reasonable that the conflict in my young life had something to do [...]
I was a child with Aspergers Syndrome. I was diagnosed at the age of 7. My childhood was like any other childhood for a typical suburban young boy going to a mainstream public school. Things changed when my family was forced to move by our former landlord to a different town. I had to change [...]
The following is an excerpt from Karen’s new book, "Up All Night: One Last Blast of Mania" available on Amazon.com. Chapter 1 - The Descent For twenty years I had taken lithium. For twenty years I stayed out of the mental hospital. Then everything fell apart. I had told my husband that I hoped that he [...]
