*content warning - suicidal ideation* It was November and traffic was awful. A downpour had turned the freeway into one long hydroplane. Even if I hadn’t been sobbing, visibility was almost nil. My two children were strapped in their car seats behind me. Both were screaming, the three-year-old punctuating every shriek with a kick to [...]
But it Didn't Seem Like Postpartum Depression “It’s not uncommon to suffer from postpartum depression,” my infant’s pediatrician said to me during a routine checkup. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Her tone was soft but [...]
“But what if I drop the baby?”: my life with postpartum OCD I always wanted to be a mom. When I met my husband, even though we were young and knew that starting a family was years away, it was something we still talked about and planned for. We picked out names that we liked, [...]
It was three years ago - almost to the day now. I only know that because Facebook reminds me. Most of the first year of my son's life is gone, lost, erased from my memory. Before he was born I knew nothing about traumatic births. I thought that postpartum depression was middle class White women [...]
Have you ever completely lost control? I am not talking about a bad frat party in college, I am talking about when your body and mind don't match up. This can happen in so many ways injuries, illness, today for me it was a massive anxiety attack. I'd suffered from postpartum anxiety after the birth [...]
The Numbness in my Blood. It started fourteen years ago, and now I am a different person. For a long while, nobody could figure it out. My toddler son would have spells where he struggled to breathe, and sometimes turned a ghastly shade as he fought for air. Croup, they said at first. But the [...]
EMDR, PPD & Self Compassion... Every Monday I have my therapy appointment. This is for my new therapy that I started a few months ago, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). If I tried to explain the exact technique, I think I would confuse you further. What I can say, is that it is hard. [...]
Anxiety is an asshole... -Thoughts come to you at breakneck speed--the good and the bad. -You cannot sit still--even for what used to be your favorite activity. -Something bad is about to happen--you just don’t know what or when. -You’re exhausted but you cannot sleep--when you finally close your eyes, your dreams are laced with [...]
