*Trigger Warning: Suicide* I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital for the first time when I was 20 years old. It came after a long period of severe anorexia and malnutrition, progressive dysfunctionality and decline in my physical and mental health. What I didn't know back then, I'm 30 now, was that it's not because [...]
TW: Abuse, Eating Disorder, Suicidal Thoughts I am 18 years old, but I feel as though I am just finally figuring out my place in this world and my identity. All my life I have lived with social and generalized anxiety disorders, as well as depression. It was not until I reached high school when [...]
I have had an eating disorder for longer than I have not had an eating disorder. It shocks me how little people still know and understand about them. When new studies come out about eating disorders, they have never discovered anything that I haven't already known for years. I don't know what they are studying [...]
“Imagine if something in your brain was telling you to act a certain way, a way that you knew in hindsight was dangerous but you still didn’t know know what to do. Imagine being at your lowest, being seduced by this voice that sucks you in, makes you feel valued, takes all that pain away… [...]
Broken Mirrors I’m standing in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, scrutinizing my reflection while I devour the rest of my Halloween candy. The walls are plastered with flashy posters of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, my current idols. I look at their identical, doe-eyed faces, then back at my own, scowling at my [...]
Me Vs. My Eating Disorder: How I realized that I was sick and learned to differentiate myself from my sickness By Sparklle Rainne My eating disorder began when I was only eight years old. It began with bulimia, but my diagnosis has changed multiple times throughout my life - I've been diagnosed with bulimia, anorexia, [...]
You Are Not Your Eating Disorder Of all of the ups and downs we have experienced with our son’s illness; the hospitalization and the setbacks, one of the hardest is hearing my son apologize for his condition. A recent experience really brought to light for me just how much my son feels he has to [...]
Destigmatizing Medication: How Psychiatric Medicine Helped Me Survive Isaac James Baker shares his personal story of how his psychiatric drugs helped to save his life, as he battled anorexia, anxiety and depression. When my psychiatrist told me he was prescribing medication, I told him, “No thanks, I’m fine.” But he insisted, rolling off an impressive [...]
Reflections on Overcoming Stigma to Pay Forward Back when I was just a yuppie, I learned a few points of wisdom that I want to pay forward to some mental health academics and administrators. I was learning to chop cheese steaks at a Korean owned deli and instantly enamored with this mentor on the grill, [...]
I grew up in the ballet world, so it's impossible for me to remember a time when I wasn't highly conscious of my body size. As a recovered anorexic, many people assume that ballet must be the sole cause of my years-long battle with an eating disorder — but it's far from that simple. I [...]
