I had just transferred colleges and moved two states away. It felt like it'd be a comfortable environment, just four hours away from the town that I grew up in, but it wasn't going to stay that way for long. The school was a dream come true, as far as administration and student accommodations went. [...]
"Socially Anxious Artist Seeking Anxiety-Causing Opportunities" In the middle of a recent holiday party, a friend discovered me in the kitchen washing dishes. “Why are you doing that now?” she asked. “I need a break from the people,” I sheepishly replied. “But, it’s your party. There are only six people here. Come on! You’re in [...]
The first time I can ever remember my OCD showing itself was fourth grade. My sister, only three years older, was showing me a rated R movie, and my mother walked in. As any typical mother would, she scolded us. Something switched in me that day. I don’t really know what it is that just [...]
“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t help you.” “You just want me to admit that I am broken! You are looking for a reason to leave” “No. I am looking for a reason to stay.” Not everyone can can look at the exact moment when their lives changed. I am lucky. My partner Gray [...]
Right now I feel like I’m standing on fairly level ground looking back over the past several months of spiraling anxiety and depression like a rocky, brambly, dark, deep canyon I just traversed. Things are slowing down now and seem a bit brighter. All the sleepless nights and nightmares, the headaches and stomachaches, the loss [...]
I don't even know where to start with one of these, Ive never done this before, but its gotten so bad that I hope writing about this will help. For as long as I can remember I've always been a "shy" child. Where this stems from I have no idea, nothing tragic ever happened to [...]
I can make planes fall from the sky! I can cause the earth to shake, cars to crash, and buildings to tumble violently to the ground. That’s what my OCD had me believe anyway, though I was never fully convinced. No one has superpowers. Still, I became extremely nervous when thoughts of destruction entered my [...]
I've always felt like an ugly duckling. All the world can see is a drab little bird, bobbing to and fro, awkward and confused. And under the surface, I'm paddling wildly, trying to appear calm and in control. Hoping desperately that the calm swan I wish I could be would emerge already. When you're a [...]
What you don’t see I’m afraid. I’m afraid of people. Terrified by the way they besiege me, Extending forward their lively limbs Fingers moulding contours, I cannot understand Because my mind is entirely focused On the walls of this room- The way they’re shutting upon me like a catacomb This coffin is too small, too [...]
Dear Anxiety, Today my boyfriend's father, Sonny, would be turning 66 years old. Today his family is going to one of Sonny's favorite restaurants to celebrate his life. Today I am staying home in the comfort of my bed, watching YouTube breathing exercise videos. Today I had to tell my boyfriend I can't make it [...]
