The Monster in My Head I have bipolar disorder. My moods shift from high energy and euphoria to low energy and deep feelings of despair. I began having symptoms when I was thirteen. I have had a problematic life, with its ups and downs, but God blessed me with good people and experiences. High school [...]
Dear all, First and foremost my love to you all. My name is Jonny Ward, or the ‘Anxious Fireman’ on Twitter. I am 5’11”, I’m strongly built, a fire-fighter. I enjoy strongman training, travel, adventure, the outdoors and working with my hands. I wear jeans and white t shirts, boots, I sweat! Oh and I [...]
Should I Have Become A Mother? My greatest gift in this world is my daughter. She exudes so much love, and yes quite a bit of whininess, but she is a wise and kind being. And I probably never should have had her. I look back on my life and see the pain, the craziness, [...]
In Death I Dream of You Yet See me dying, withered and decaying between crisp white sheets. I wait for the prick of the needle. It comes and the warm reprieve takes me again. I run. Dark and empty city streets. I stop, my heart pounding and resounding in my head. Thin pools of water [...]
TURNING A FAMILY CURSE INTO A BLESSING My name is Tom and I was diagnosed on Good Friday 1993 with bipolar disorder. The diagnosis came too late to save my marriage and my career as a professor of broadcasting at a small Christian college in Arkansas. It could have saved my brother’s life, too, but [...]
Mommy Is Not Going To Kill Herself Recently my young daughter, Sophia, has forced me to listen to a popular local radio station. Normally, I enjoy what I call classic rock (or 80s rock which makes me feel old now that it's called 'classic'). I gave in to her request being that her recital songs [...]
The Darker Side of Synesthesia I consider myself a synesthete. Sight, sound, and touch are a single, unified sense for me. Input from one triggers immediate, involuntary input from the other two, brings immediate emotional and physiological changes. A window creaks: a flash of blue; parts of my body feel like they’re ballooning away; my [...]
When I was 14 I met my best friend at school. We became inseparable and I was closer to her than anyone else. She moved away in her early 20’s and our friendship remained as strong as ever. As we did not live close to each other we would text and call all the time. [...]
I am no academic. I have no medical training other that how to put a triangle bandage on and do some sort of CPR at a push. However I have known for quite some time that I have a problem. Thirty odd years to give you an idea how long, I'm now 41 so the [...]
Saying Goodbye to Dark Sources “But love is not a transaction. Love is transcendent—it transcends language and material possessions and can be shown only by our thoughts, actions, and intentions.” -Joshua Fields Millburn This past winter, I found myself sitting in my car on the verge of ending it. I could go to the corner [...]
