A handful of pills, alcohol, and a full bathtub. That's all I need. I had the perfect plan to finally give me peace. I climbed in to relax, tossed my pills in my mouth, drank and relaxed waiting for bliss to take hold, that moment when oblivion would release me from my nightmares. I've always [...]
Recovery by Walking with a Pug and a Friend in the Rain... About a month back, I went for a walk around the outside of the Missouri Botanical Gardens. It was an overcast morning, and I was feeling somewhat depressed and anxious about my personal life and career life. I called my friend C. He [...]
Superwoman Has Left the Building “Why am I the one always left to do the cleanup? It wasn’t me who made this mess!” I view the aftermath of a hypomanic episode with horror and disgust. “Um, actually, it was you . . . .” Oh. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde merge back into one fucked-up [...]
Living with a Spouse with Borderline Personality Disorder Late night. Full mind. Emptier bed, but not totally. She sleeps peacefully, finally. After the repeated questions, "When is mommy coming home?" "Soon," I reply. "In a few days. Don't worry." I worry. I'm always worried. Full mind. Emptier bed. Hard to decipher the feelings. Anger, disappointment, [...]
If my mental illness was my name, then I would have to be introduced: Bipolar Disorder, General Anxiety Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, and Short-term Auditory Memory Dysfunction. A mouthful to be sure, and not a name I’m too chummy with. Then there is one that I rarely tell anyone. It’s the reason [...]
The Mental Health System Has Failed Me...ALMOST!!! This essay is about the six million times I have been failed by the mental health system. If you have read my essay in the first Stigma Fighters Anthology, you know I have been in an out of psychiatric hospitals and have seen countless providers for medication management. [...]
I Have A Fabulous Life... And A Mental Illness I remember eating lunch in a bathroom stall in high school. That sucked. I think the bathroom might be the worst place ever to each lunch. It’s lonely and... it smells like poop. My heart breaks for that girl in the bathroom, quickly eating her ham [...]
I am my own greatest gift to the world!! Please read those words carefully and take them all in before judging. I say that as much to myself as to anyone else. Because it's taken me years of therapy, analysis, soul-searching, shaman-style self healing, and connecting to spirituality to finally figure it out- I AM [...]
Okay, so lets cut to the chase here....I have a mental illness. I take four medications a day. Eleven pills, three times a day, everyday. That's what it takes to get me through the day. I also see my Therapist every Monday morning and my Psychiatrist 1-2 times per month. You can see how having [...]
I don't like needles. I don't like the idea of a permanent commitment. And I certainly don't like doing things that make me nervous. So why would I choose to get a tattoo? There has been a lot of news lately regarding the Semicolon Tattoo Project. People have shared that their tattoo is a commitment [...]
