I Wonder By Chris O’Brien Sometimes I wonder if I'm even really here. I'll save you my college-freshman exploration of existentialism and skip ahead to what I'm really writing about. Concussions and Post Concussion Syndrome. I haven't felt truly awake since I was 15. I don't actually remember what being alive felt like before then. [...]
Often viewed as one of the most tell tale signs of a true "junkie", there is no doubt about the stigma that comes with track marks. It has been three great years since the last time a needle punctured my skin in a desperate search for a functioning vein. Some scars still remain, lightly tracing [...]
I’ve lived on this Earth for 20 years, for 11 of those years I self-harmed. 11 long years I’ve been at the mercy of a blade and the control it gave me. I needed that control more than I needed my next breath, because I believe that’s what self-harm is. It’s about having the control [...]
I don’t have the scars anymore and my parents think it was just a plot for attention but I remember running from the ambulance. My friend saw the “cat scratches” on my wrist at youth group, which I’d put there in the first attempt to externally express the internal world I’d known for the length [...]
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18 years old, a time when most people’s concerns are sitting next to someone hot during freshman seminar or whether your parents are going to pick up your dirty laundry when they visit for the weekend. Two months into college and my concerns became bipolar disorder, what it [...]
Nine months after my third son was born, I was faced with a choice: end my life to end my suffering, or admit myself to a hospital and fight like hell to get my sanity back. I nearly made the wrong choice and left my three boys motherless. I knew my marriage was basically over, [...]
According to the internet, my friends, and mental health groups all over the world, I am a stigma fighter. I’m an elite, mentally ill stigma fighter looking to change the perception of mental illness in a single bound. I, of course, am not an elite anything, but I am a person with knowledge, lived experience, [...]
Looking back on my life with the ever-expanding knowledge of mental health that I have been amassing, I now realize that I have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. As a teenager I was accused of being lazy, angst-ridden, self-absorbed. While I agree that most people go through these phases during their [...]
“We’ll need to address your daughter’s depression.” The doctor had said it as if it were an afterthought, a plate of French fries tacked on to the side of the main course, her autism. My seven year-old has a high functioning form of ASD some doctors still refer to as Asperger’s. It’s characterized by anxiety, [...]
Game Changer: My Bipolar Journey Some people’s depression is triggered by an event, a major loss or a tragedy. My first depressive episode had no inciting incident. It happened slowly and all at once. The sadness and dread was overwhelming. I couldn’t stop crying. I stopped going out. I stopped talking to my roommates. I [...]
