What was I working on? I look to my left and then to my right. I stare at the monitor in front of me, barely recognizing what is on the screen. I think I know this project… what was I doing on it? My brain is foggy, drawing a blank. I struggle to remember what [...]
The War Rages On My brain has officially shifted gears into overdrive. I last slept sometime early Saturday morning. I have tried to hold it together. I must admit that yesterday was incredibly difficult. The speed at which my brain is processing has left me irritated and exhausted. I can always recognize the impending shift [...]
An anxiety disorder is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It creeps in, takes hold of you, and begins to control every aspect of your life. Anxiety is that voice in the back of your head, telling you that you will never get what you want. That you're not good enough. That no [...]
A pill for happiness Happy Birthday, you have depression What do you do when your teeth hurt from clenching the duvet as you muffle the sounds of crying so no-one will hear? What do you do when your eyes are stinging after constantly wiping them before any tears can fall? What do you do when [...]
This summer I turn 29. I have suffered from generalized anxiety presumably my entire life. The panic attacks started in high school as did the bipolar mood swings. I was chronically suicidal but even more so, I was stubborn. Until senior year of high school, I did just enough to skate under the radar. I [...]
I’ve lived with an anxiety disorder my whole life. The first time I panicked I was around five or six years old. I don’t really remember much besides the fact that I was with my parents in a crowded place during a concert, and that I felt a need to escape all the commotion into [...]
I’ve been a lot of things and had a lot of roles in my life. Model, farmer, business owner, author, blogger, wife, mom, Christian. I’ve been a Vacation Bible School leader and Children’s’ Ministry leader. I’ve sat in the pew every Sunday for years, prayed, read my bible, attended bible studies, and worshiped the Lord [...]
I'm living on a tropical island, surrounded by beautiful people, and I'm constantly treated like a VIP. That's all true, but it's not the whole story. I'm also a 39-year-old alcoholic who abandoned his wife, 8 kids, church job, and everything else that once mattered to me. My rental is 1,700 miles away from my [...]
Allow me to tell you something that I have dealt with and continue to manage, but certainly, does not define who I am as a person at all. I was diagnosed with a mental difference called schizophrenia. About two and a half years ago something happened to me; when a history of experienced trauma in [...]
Mental illness is not easy. You cannot simply tell a depressed person to be positive and get over it. You cannot tell someone suffering from anxiety to just stay calm. You cannot reassure a person battling anorexia that if they just eat something it will go away. Mental illness is hard. It’s complicated, exhausting and [...]
