“Take the key and lock her up, lock her up, lock her up, take the key and lock her up, my fair lady.” I remember driving my five-year daughter home from the drug store, amid my 3rd ever full-blown panic attack. I remember thinking that it felt like I was looking through a fish-eye lens, [...]
Dealing with severe depression and thoughts of suicide is a harsh enough reality by itself. But when you’re a Muslim, things tend to get even more complicated. My name is Kamil Idris, and I still suffer from severe anxiety and depression to this day. I don’t know when exactly it started, but what I do [...]
In today’s ever-changing world the way we speak to each other is continually evolving. With the help of technology, a whole new language has been made available to us through smartphones. It has enabled us to interact more efficiently. Yet there is still one line of communication that needs improvement and that is the one [...]
Bed: The quicksand trap The legend The pause in my existence for months Urine in bottles Yellow stained teeth Bed hair for weeks Time to get up When the child breaks the silence Start somewhere; start; with this. This, is anything and everything I want it to be This, is honesty; despite all of the [...]
*Content Warning: explicit Eating Disorder symptoms, the use of numbers and weight-related discussion. Eating Disorders are not a diet. They are not a phase. They are not vanity. An Eating Disorder is a psychiatric illness. It has the highest mortality rate of any other mental illness. Did you know that the only thing you can [...]
The Filing Cabinet in my Head Like so many people I know, I suffer from multiple illnesses and each one is considered “invisible” as in, I struggle all day everyday but all of my symptoms are inside. The main diagnoses are Depression, Anxiety, Fibromyalgia, Endocrine Disorder, and an Eating Disorder. Like so many people I [...]
Sad. Comforting hug. A hand sweeps the mind with gentle flow, Soft and gentle touch becomes a daydream, Safe in the deepest corners of happiness, A mind escapes, but touch brings sadness, A touch becomes terrifying with warm hands, No words. No fun little girl games, Touch. Comforting hug. Not. Sad. Uncomfortable. Mind games plague [...]
My journey with mental illness started from the age of nine. Following a series of sexual experiences from the ages of six to eight, I found myself traumatized. My young mind couldn’t process what had occurred, and neurosis quickly set in. I started to feel a lot of shame and guilt as a result of [...]
*Content Warning: brief mention of disordered eating and specific foods. Over the last 4 years, I have talked about personifying Eating Disorders as a way to separate the person from the illness. I have talked about Ed as this mean, manipulative, lying jerk. I have used phrases like “kick Ed’s ass”, “break up with Ed”, [...]
Sometimes I feel like there are three sides to my brain: my POTS side, my anxiety side, and my “true me” side. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, or POTS, can wreak havoc on the body due to a faulty autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system is the system in your body that controls everything you [...]
