My Survival Story In the midst of one the worst depressive episodes I had ever endured I made the decision to end my life. I was meticulous in the details and in the execution of my plan. Depression told me that I was worthless, a failure in all aspects of my life. Repeating poor choice [...]
My story is like any other book in an enormous library. Kept for records, collecting dust, sitting in an isolated nook in a forgotten corner. I'm not trying to downplay my struggles. I know that every story has its purpose. It's measure of influence on lives and society. But I also don't want to come [...]
I have struggled with depression for many years. Growing up, I was always bullied and abused by people in and out of my family. I had low self esteem and always thought the worst. I had really bad anxiety, depression, etc. Freshman year, I moved to South Carolina where I thought things would get better. [...]
“How did I get here?” It’s a question I used to obsess over, feeling distraught over what I felt were the world’s standards for my age versus what I had actually accomplished at that point in time. I grieved how much I felt was stolen from me because of my mental illness and wondered if [...]
“The person who completes suicide, dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand … Why?” – Clark (2001) I cry every time I speak in public about Jerry’s suicide. Jerry was my little brother. He was 35 and left behind his wife and two little boys. [...]
I am honoured to have been recently asked by the international, non-profit organization Stigma Fighters to share my mental health story with them and their followers. The only requirement being that it be told in 1000 words or less…gulp…I’m always up for a challenge! I hope that by sharing my story with fellow mental illness [...]
A handful of pills, alcohol, and a full bathtub. That's all I need. I had the perfect plan to finally give me peace. I climbed in to relax, tossed my pills in my mouth, drank and relaxed waiting for bliss to take hold, that moment when oblivion would release me from my nightmares. I've always [...]
Recovery by Walking with a Pug and a Friend in the Rain... About a month back, I went for a walk around the outside of the Missouri Botanical Gardens. It was an overcast morning, and I was feeling somewhat depressed and anxious about my personal life and career life. I called my friend C. He [...]
Superwoman Has Left the Building “Why am I the one always left to do the cleanup? It wasn’t me who made this mess!” I view the aftermath of a hypomanic episode with horror and disgust. “Um, actually, it was you . . . .” Oh. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde merge back into one fucked-up [...]
Living with a Spouse with Borderline Personality Disorder Late night. Full mind. Emptier bed, but not totally. She sleeps peacefully, finally. After the repeated questions, "When is mommy coming home?" "Soon," I reply. "In a few days. Don't worry." I worry. I'm always worried. Full mind. Emptier bed. Hard to decipher the feelings. Anger, disappointment, [...]
