In Death I Dream of You Yet See me dying, withered and decaying between crisp white sheets. I wait for the prick of the needle. It comes and the warm reprieve takes me again. I run. Dark and empty city streets. I stop, my heart pounding and resounding in my head. Thin pools of water [...]
TURNING A FAMILY CURSE INTO A BLESSING My name is Tom and I was diagnosed on Good Friday 1993 with bipolar disorder. The diagnosis came too late to save my marriage and my career as a professor of broadcasting at a small Christian college in Arkansas. It could have saved my brother’s life, too, but [...]
Mommy Is Not Going To Kill Herself Recently my young daughter, Sophia, has forced me to listen to a popular local radio station. Normally, I enjoy what I call classic rock (or 80s rock which makes me feel old now that it's called 'classic'). I gave in to her request being that her recital songs [...]
The Darker Side of Synesthesia I consider myself a synesthete. Sight, sound, and touch are a single, unified sense for me. Input from one triggers immediate, involuntary input from the other two, brings immediate emotional and physiological changes. A window creaks: a flash of blue; parts of my body feel like they’re ballooning away; my [...]
When I was 14 I met my best friend at school. We became inseparable and I was closer to her than anyone else. She moved away in her early 20’s and our friendship remained as strong as ever. As we did not live close to each other we would text and call all the time. [...]
I am no academic. I have no medical training other that how to put a triangle bandage on and do some sort of CPR at a push. However I have known for quite some time that I have a problem. Thirty odd years to give you an idea how long, I'm now 41 so the [...]
Saying Goodbye to Dark Sources “But love is not a transaction. Love is transcendent—it transcends language and material possessions and can be shown only by our thoughts, actions, and intentions.” -Joshua Fields Millburn This past winter, I found myself sitting in my car on the verge of ending it. I could go to the corner [...]
I have Bi polar. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I have Depression. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic disorder and disorder disorder disorder..... Bottom line, I am a person who lives with an Invisible Illness. One of many people like me who gives themselves a pat on the back for making it out of [...]
I was nineteen when I had my first impulse to cut. Twenty when I actually took a razor blade to my arm. But it began long before then. As a little kid, I used to ball my hands into little fists so my fingernails would dig into my skin whenever I was upset in order [...]
Solar Flares in the Northern Pole: My Dysfunctional Relationship With Bipolar Disorder and our Life-Affirming First Date Taco Night. I believe this is when it all started. I was in the middle of a grueling semester of the most intense course I had ever taken, graduate level gross anatomy. While my peers were funding every [...]
