Hello. I have wrote for Stigma Fighters previously about my Trich once before. You may or may not know what it is depending on if you’ve heard about it or have it yourself or perhaps know someone who has it. A month after I submitted my essay to Stigma Fighters I wrote another essay or whatnot of sorts about what my Trich is like and I’ve been wanting to share it on Stigma Fighters ever since but never actually took the time to do so, until now. Incase you haven’t read my other essay in which I wrote for Stigma Fighters a while back. I have Trichotillomania. Trichotillomania (Trich for short; also known as TTM or hair pulling disorder) is an impulse control disorder characterized by the compulsive urge to pull out one’s hair.
Now that I’ve shared with you that I have Trich. Here’s a story I wrote I call Fighting for the Sunshine that describes what my Trich is like.
When I am pull free it’s like the sun shines brighter than it did before.
When I relapse the clouds cover the sun and the sun gets dimmer until there’s no sunshine at all.
When I relapse I wish for the sun to come back sooner than it did the time before. Sometimes it does, other times it doesn’t. But that’s okay. For the sunshine always came back. True sometimes it took longer than others. But nonetheless, it came back.
You see, when I am pull free again the clouds part and the sun shines bright. And each day I go without pulling, the sun gets brighter and brighter.
When I relapse once again I try to hold on to at least a bit of that sunshine, oh how I want it to stay. Oh how I don’t want the clouds to cover the sun again. I want to fight for the sun. I want to keep fighting for the sunshine.
When the clouds cover the sun and the sky is darker than it was before. I try to remember how bright and beautiful the sun was. I try to remember how much I loved that sunshine. True, sometimes I do fight harder than other times for the sunshine. But I will still always yearn for it.
For each time the sun shines brighter and brighter. I feel like I’m on top of the world and as if I can do anything.
I’m always fighting for the sunshine. But it’s worth fighting for.
I live in Oklahoma. I love reading, cats and musicals. I love being a mental health advocate. I also love spreading awareness via my social media accounts about mental health disorders as well as mental health in general.