Stigma Fighters : Jessica Roskosh

No-No’s
Things NOT to say to someone who is Bipolar

There is a list of things that you should NOT say to someone who is Bipolar. There are so many that to name them all would turn this book into a series. There are some that should be no brainers and considering all the people I have met who seem brainless, it is even lost on them. This isn’t even about PC because really, I am not the person to write about PC. I can’t even hold an argument with those who speak in the PC language. Yes, I consider it a language with built in censorship and mandatory bandwagon in tow. I also am not suggesting that those no-no’s based on just the offensiveness of them. Personally, I am rarely if ever offended. I have tried to pretend I’m offended but apparently when you speak without a filter no one buys they have actually offended you.

Before I start my list of things NOT to say I need to let you know that there is also a double standard involved here. I can say the very things I am going to admonish others for but it’s because I’m a part of the club. Yes, club! And many other members of the club frequently violate the no-no’s because they too are a part of the club. Not everyone in the club finds it okay & for us rule breakers we are scolded for the bad example we are setting for the “normal” people. I disagree with that wholeheartedly because I believe normal is nothing more than personal perception. I perceive myself as normal because my bipolar mind normal! It’s the normal I know even if I often call it crazy.

In my book Bipolar Goggles I covered my biggest NO-NO but it bears repeating. Do Not, repeat NOT tweet, post, blog, or say in general conversation that you are having a “bipolar moment.” There is absolutely no bipolar moment disorder. For someone with Bipolar Disorder it is all of the moments. Collections of pieces over a lifetime. Bipolar is an illness not a catch phrase. It’s NOT ok to make it a verb to describe your current mood because in your great wisdom you know it must be what being Bipolar feels like. Our illness is not a trend, it’s not cool, & I personally don’t appreciate you turning it into a fad. This illness will be with me for life.
When you are with your friends talking about someone who you know or think you know if bipolar; there is no reason to use air quotes. Seriously??? What is the purpose of it? My opinion is the quotes signify a disbelief in the legitimacy of the illness. I could be wrong and if you are guilty of the air quotes when talking bipolar, please let me know your reason. I can’t come up with a single one that makes sense.

Never, repeat Never say “snap out of it?” How do we “snap out” of our minds? Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness. Mental is all about the mind. To do that would necessitate the end of life. The “Snap out of it” goes hand in hand with “just deal with it.” We are dealing with it. It and a society of people who see “it” as something we have total control of. If you aren’t familiar with Google then you can ask someone who is bipolar and I am sure they will share the truth with you. Maybe not if you started with the “snap of it.” That may not turn out too good for you. They may have a “bipolar moment.” HaHa..NOT FUNNY!
This concludes today’s lesson. Stay tuned for more no-no’s. All no-no’s within this are my opinion, my words, & just friendly advice. Friendly advice from the bipolar woman who has a built in Mental Illness Defense when I smack you for saying that shit to me!

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41 Year old wife, mother, bipolar, borderline pers disorder, anxiety having fighter!

Jessica can be found on Twitter

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