Stigma Fighters: Jennifer Longoria

What comes to mind when you hear the word “bully?”

I always thought it was mainly a physical attack, so I never felt I was bullied; but I was.

I was only 11. I wasn’t a “big” girl, I was maybe 110, but to some of the kids in school I was “big Jennifer”.
I never saw myself as fat (I wasn’t), but after being called that for sometime I felt fat. I believed them.
I can eat, then throw up, I thought…so that’s what I did.
Eat.
Throw up.
Eat.
Throw up.
There was pain. A lot. It hurt.
But I kept doing it. I was “fat”, remember? Then when I wanted to stop I couldn’t.

I never lost weight either.
Just made myself sick and full of pain.
Physical yes, but more damaging was the mental and emotional pain.
I slowly won over the battle.
A few years ago, twenty years after I engaged bulimia as a child, two women call me fat.

Well after two children, I did something about that. Not for them, but for me.

I’m not skinny.
If you are skinny, you are skinny. There’s nothing wrong with that.
If you’re curvy you’re curvy.
There is nothing wrong with that.
Just be healthy.

The issue is more often than not with the bully, a deeper darker reason for ridiculing, not the other way around.
Being bullied can happen at any age.
Watch what you say to others.
Just because they don’t show it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, because it does. Damn does it hurt.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may never hurt me?”

Bullshit.

Bones heal. Wounds heal. They turn into scars, and those scars may fade overtime – but they will always be there.

Be kind to one another.
We could all have less scars.
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Jennifer is wife and mother of two who lives in Texas. She enjoys nature, reading, couponing and being there for others. She considers music to be a form of therapy. Words to live by; one day at a time.

  • Helen White

    ❤️ lots of admiration for this piece Jennifer. Words to live by “Be kind to one another” is so very true.

  • Danny Price

    I really appreciate your openness and honesty. I don’t talk about it much but I was bullied also. It was very painful. What you say is so important, be kind to each other!

  • Mary Rowen

    If only people could be kinder to each other! Can you imagine how great this world would be? Thanks for a lovely, honest post, Jennifer.

  • Jennifer

    Thank you for the comments, it is always great getting the words out!

  • http://www.lifeisntbroken.com lifeisntbroken

    Good for you Jennifer. Love your beautiful self. Bullying is more about the bully than the bullied but the bullied carries the scars.