An open letter to my mental illness,
How I’ve known you for years, you’ve molded me into the person I am today. You have 3 sides to you, the anxiety, the mania, and the depression. You’ve taken a toll on my health but I don’t let you control me.
The anxiety, man you need to chill the fuck out, not everything is the end of the world. When you’re in public people aren’t secretly judging you, they don’t even know us. You always make me feel bad about myself and tell me everyone is out to get me. You also drill into my head intrusive thoughts and compulsions. It takes a toll on me and it makes me scared. When you feel something is out of our control you cause me to have a meltdown, please just chill out.
The mania, You make me feel like I’m invincible. I go days without sleeping and you give me endless energy. I just want you to know its not healthy. Feeling like you can do anything without consequences is not healthy. It’s destructive, then again you don’t care about it. You only care about yourself and are a cocky son of a bitch. Just know that taking risks will come back to bite you in the ass and you need to control yourself before others get hurt.
The depression, you make me feel hopeless and low. You’ve robbed me of happiness on many occasions. I know you’re favorite thing to do is lay in bed and cry but we’re better than this. Look at all we’ve accomplished in life. Look at all the shit we’ve been through and how we’ve overcome it. Dying is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to feel emotions, it’s okay to cry. I know a lot of things are overwhelming to you. I know you’re best friends with anxiety. You both overreact to situations and don’t think about what it does to me. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s going to be okay, I promise.
Emily deals with many challenges having bipolar disorder and OCD. She writes her feelings and talks about mental health issues in the open. She wants to end the stigma that’s on mental illness. She writes to further explain what’s going on in her head so people can better understand it.
Emily can found on her blog and Twitter.