I sit back in my room right now and think how can I be useful member of the society. Like many people would say it – get up and get going. It sounds so easy to just get up and start realizing your dreams. All you need is to take one step. But this is not true for me. I suffer from depression. I can’t just read an inspiring article on internet and get going. As the laziness persists in my mind, my body becomes active and other times my brain is hyperactive and my body is lazy.
Sometimes, I know this would change. I will feel better again, live a normal life again but after every few days it become shows up again like a demon and I shut myself in the room not communicating with anyone, wanting my mind to halt and stay quite. I feel no need to socialize. I have some friends but during my low times I avoid them. It increases the distance between me and them. I have supportive family but again I think they get distressed too because of my behavior.
I remember having breakdowns from the past. I cannot just snap out of it. I still feel negative about myself for not doing something positive for society. But in this battle, I have made up my mind that no matter how many times it come back to me I am just going to maintain a simple awareness of being in the moment and just being.
Ansheeta Sharma is a sensitive simple girl who suffers from depression. She moves forward at right pace, stumble upon something, gets up, scribbles some notes in her journal and starts moving again. Just like everyone else.
Ansheeta can be found on Twitter.
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